On their 50th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness -- and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single."

Wedding anniversaries are a time when men pause and reflect on what it was they did before they were married: anything they wanted to.

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.

There's a new pain reliever for wives that relieves the headache caused by a husband who never remembers your anniversary. It's called "Jackasspirin."