Chuck Norris flew boats in the Vietnam War.

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I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

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The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...

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Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.

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In World War 2 Chuck Norris Pointed his Fingers at an enemy zero and said BANG, The plane burst into flames and crashed.

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