World War II started because Burger King screwed up Chuck Norris' order. Today Burger King NEVER gives you onions unless you ask for them.

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Chuck Norris flew boats in the Vietnam War.

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Hiroshima nagasaki was nothing but the result of chuck norris skydiving in Japan.

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A man in Amsterdam feels the need to confess, so he goes to his priest. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic." "Well," answers the priest, "that's not a sin."' "But I made him agree to pay me 20 guilders for every week he stayed." "I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause." "Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind. I have one more question." "What is that, my son?" "Do I have to tell him the war is over?"

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Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.

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