Going to war without the French is like going hunting without your accordion.

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How does an octopus go to war? Well-armed.

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Chuk Norris was only twice angry, and those times are known as WWI and WWII.

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"If women ruled the world," said my wife, "there'd be no wars."  "That's true," I replied. "Wars require strategy and logic."

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In an attempt to end WWII, President Harry Truman had Chuck Norris parachuted into Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Sept. 2, 1945, the Japanese surrendered.

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