A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, "1 enemy ship on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die." So the watchman comes to him and asks, "Why did you want your red shirt?" The captain says, "Because if i get injured they won't see and keep on fighting." So the watchman comes to him again and says, "20 enemy ships on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my brown pants."

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How does an octopus go to war? Well-armed.

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Hiroshima nagasaki was nothing but the result of chuck norris skydiving in Japan.

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The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...

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The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.

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