Chuck Norris lit a match and ended the Cold War.

 395

0  

World War II started because Burger King screwed up Chuck Norris' order. Today Burger King NEVER gives you onions unless you ask for them.

 464

0  

Q: What is the difference between an ISIS boot camp and a local school? A: How should I know? I just fly the drones.

 2345

3  

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

 510

0  

Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945. World War 2 ended Sept. 2 1945. What a coincidence.

 567

2