R. Lee Ermey's war face is the face he made when he saw Chuck Norris ready to attack.

Why were so many niggers killed in the Vietnam war? Because when the sergeant said to "get down", they all got up and started dancing.

World War II started because Burger King screwed up Chuck Norris' order. Today Burger King NEVER gives you onions unless you ask for them.

This old guy goes into a church in a small town in the hills of Italy and asks the priest to hear his confession. The priest listens and then asks, "Is there anything else?" The old guy says, "During the war, when I was young, a beautiful Germam girl came to my farm after escaping and asked me if I would hide her. I told her I would if she provided me with sexual favors." The priest replies, "Don't worry about it. It was wartime and you both were under a lot of pressure." The old guy says, "Does that mean that I have to tell her that the war is over?"

The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...