World War II started because Burger King screwed up Chuck Norris' order.
Today Burger King NEVER gives you onions unless you ask for them.
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During the Iraq war, a Lieutenant asked the soldier why he was falling back during a really fierce battle, "Didn't you hear me say that we're outnumbered 4 to 1 ?"
The soldier replied, "I got my four Sir."
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Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed.
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What is the best job in a country which is war-prone?
"Foreign ambassador."