Did you hear about the cannibal Tax Accountant? She charges an arm and a leg.

A man was driving along the road when all of a sudden he has to swerve to avoid a box falling off the lorry in front. Seconds later a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. As the policeman starting writing the ticket he noticed the box was full of nails and tacks. "I had to serve or I'd have run over those and blown my tyres!" protested the driver. "Ok", replied the officer, ripping up the ticket, "but I'm still bringing you in." "What for?" retorted the man. "Tacks evasion", answered the policeman.

Q: When do Democrats like the idea of a flat tax? A: After it reaches 95%

Q: How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman? AA By his net income.

The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.