How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.

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Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."

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Q: How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman? AA By his net income.

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I hate paying my income tax. You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? I'd like to but they insist on money!

 787

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A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise."

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