A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmact: "I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some petection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?" The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax." "TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by themselves!"

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Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."

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Q: What's grey has 6 legs, 2 arms and is twenty feet tall? A: A tax accountant riding an elephant.

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Q: What's the difference between death and taxes? A: Congress doesn't meet every year to make death worse.

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Q: What do cannibal tax advisors do after their office Christmas Dinner? A: Toast their clients.

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