Teens are at an awkward stage in their lives. They know how to make phone calls they just don't know how to end them.

I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely, Michael Myers

A teenage boy overdosed on ten bottles of Viagra. Not only is he lucky to be alive, he’s lucky not to have taken his eye out.

Three men were talking about their teenage daughters: The first says "I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and found a packet of cigarettes. I didn't even know she smoked". The second says "That's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she drank". Then the third speaks up. "Both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and I found a packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she had a penis".

I know when god becomes angry. When teenage girls get pregnant and their parents exclaim, "Oh god! What have you done?!"