Q: Why was the guitar teacher arrested? A: For fingering a minor.

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Baby, baby, baby ooh! Mom: *walks in* Are you listening to Justin Bieber? Daughter: No, I'm watching porn. Mom: Oh, thank goodness.

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Chuck Norris actually painted all of the colors of the wind.

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Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago? Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....

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What do cows call Frank Sinatra? Old Moo Eyes.

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