Chuck Norris once won a rap battle against Eminem. He just kept saying "Chuck Norris" in a raplike-fashion. The crowds' heads exploded from amazement.

Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus.

What does Michael Jackson call a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll? Bait!

A guy sees a classified ad that says "Will give Blow Job while singing the Star Spangled Banner at the same time." The guys thinks to himself that it sounds interesting and unbelievable, and so decides to pay her a visit. She lets him in and says that the lights have to be off. So she turns the light off and starts sucking his dick. All of a sudden he hears the Star Spangled Banner, clear as day. He really wants to know how she is doing this so he flips on the lights. All he sees on the floor is a glass eye.

Chuck Norris can skip a sound track on the radio if he doesn't like it.