Question: What do you get if you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's witness? Answer: Someone who knocks on your door for no reason at all.

General Peter Pollock, the Navy Chief was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. General Pollock arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and Pollock asks: "So how are your men Marshall?" "Very well trained, Peter." "I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country." "Well, my men are very brave, too." "I'd like to see that." So Marshall calls an under-trainee and says: "James! I want you to stop that tank coming here with yo ... read more

Two cannibals are eating an atheist, and one says to the other, "Can you believe the way this guy tastes?"

There was this atheist and he was in the woods. And suddenly he heard some leaves cracking. He looked behind and there was a huge bear behind him. He started running and running and soon the bear was right on top of him and his paw was on top of him like he was going to swat him but suddenly he saw this big light appear and said; “For all these years you have despised me and now you call for my help.” The atheist said, “I’m sorry God. If you can’t help me, can’t you at least turn the bear into a Christian? Then the light disappeared. Then the bear knelt down and said, “Bless me Lord f ... read more

A Catholic Priest, a Rabbi, and an Atheist walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Oh Goddammit, no! We don't like jokes in here and if you guys are a part of one, you're gonna have to leave right now!" So the catholic priest, rabbi, and atheist leave the bar and a chicken walks in. The bartender says, "OH COME ON! We don't serve CHICKENS in here!" The chicken says, "Do you know somewhere that does?" The bartender says, "Yeah.." The chicken asks, "Well, where is it?" The bartender says, "It's across the road."