An atheist buys an Ancient Roman Catholic lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it. Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, "I'll grant you three wishes, Master." The atheist says, "I wish I could believe in you." The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him. The atheist says, "Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this." The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies. "What about your third wish?" asks the genie. "Well," says the atheist, "I wish for a billion dollars." The genie sna ... read more

Q: Why can't atheists solve exponential equations? A: Because they don't believe in higher powers.

Q: Why did the atheist throw her watch out the window? A: She wanted to see if it was designed intelligently enough to evolve into a bird.

Q: Why did the boy come first in the 100 metre sprint? A: He had athlete's foot.

Q: What is an atheist's favorite Christmas movie? A: "Coincidence on 34th Street"