An atheist buys an Ancient Roman Catholic lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it. Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, "I'll grant you three wishes, Master." The atheist says, "I wish I could believe in you." The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him. The atheist says, "Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this." The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies. "What about your third wish?" asks the genie. "Well," says the atheist, "I wish for a billion dollars." The genie sna ... read more

Question: What do you get if you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's witness? Answer: Someone who knocks on your door for no reason at all.

Q: What is an atheist's favorite Christmas movie? A: "Coincidence on 34th Street"

Q: Why can't atheists solve exponential equations? A: Because they don't believe in higher powers.

Q: Why did the boy come first in the 100 metre sprint? A: He had athlete's foot.