What did the Irish spinster keep saying in her prayers? ‘Good Lord, please have Murphy on me…’

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Did you hear about the new contraceptive pill for men? You put it in your shoe and it makes you limp.

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There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. Steve Martin

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My doctor examined my testicles for me and found two small lumps. Luckily it turned out they were my testicles.

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A guy's talking to a girl in a bar. He says, "What's your name?" She says, "Carmen." He says, "That's a nice name. Who named you, your mother?" She says, "No, I named myself." He says, "Why Carmen?" She says, "Because I like cars and I like men. What's your name?" He says, "Beerfuck."

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