Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

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Jones aside. ‘You’re in perfect health,’ he says. ‘Your wife didn’t give me an erection, either.’

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When I was young my sister used to play with dolls and I played with soldiers, now we do it the other way round.

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‘After making love, I said to my girl, “Was it good for you too?” And she said, “I don’t think this was good for anybody.”’ Garry Shandling

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"Excuse me," he says to her, "do we know each other?" "Sure," she answers, "one of my children is yours!" The guy confused, thinks and suddenly remembers the only time he cheated his wife. So he asks her: "Were you that stripper invited at a bachelor party at the suburbs last spring and we ended up having wild sex in the kitchen? You had manacled my hands and you cramed a carrot in my a…!" The woman frowned answers: "No, I am your son’s philologist..."

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