An alien walks into a bar and sits next to a drunk guy and begins poking him in the shoulder. The drunk guy just ignores him. After a wile the guy turns to the alien and begins looking him up and down. He notices that the alien has no genitalia. He then asks "You guys have no genitalia, how do you guy have sex?" The alien, still poking him in the arm, just smiles!

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I went into the bar the other day & the bartender said: "What'ya have?" I said: "Suprise me." He did, He showed me a naked picture of my wife. I said: "Hey, who said you could mess around with my wife?" "Everyone did" he replied..."

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Masturbation is like procrastination, it’s all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!

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Q: Whats the definition of vagina? A: The box a penis comes in.

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What’s a man’s definition of safe sex? Meeting his mistress at least 30 miles from his house.

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