The wife is back on the warpath again. I suggested that we make a little sex tape ... she was up for it ... until I suggested holding auditions. I just don’t understand why she is so mad!

An old couple returning from florida cross the border. The customs agent ask the man "did you buy anything while in the US. the man answers no. the man's wife asks her husband "what did he say?". the man tells his wife "the agent wants to know if we bought anything". the customs agent asks the man where he is from. the man answers "toronto". the man's wife says "what did he say?" the man tells his wife "he wanted to know where we were from. the agent says to the man " i was in toronto once, i had the worst sex ever in my life in toronto." the man's wife says "what did he say ... read more

Yo mama's so fat when she is having sex, her partner doesen't know if it's in her butt or her boobs.

Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex? Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.

The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.