Why do men like having sex with the lights on? It makes it easier to put a name to the face.

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A little boy asked his mother: Mummy, why are you white and I am black? Don’t even ask me that, when I remember that party..., you are lucky that you don’t bark.

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What did the Irish spinster keep saying in her prayers? ‘Good Lord, please have Murphy on me…’

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One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on. The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him. "What you staring at, old man? Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?" "Yeah. I screwed a parrot once. I was wondering if you were my son?"

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Q: What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? A: Boo-bees.

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