Q: Why did dinosaurs have sex under water? A: You try to keep five hundred pounds of pussy wet!

A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

One day a girl was with her mom in the park and saw two teens having sex on the bench. The little girl asked her mom, "Mommy, what are they doing?" The mom was blushing and replied, "Oh their making cakes." The next day the girl and the mom went to the zoo and saw two monkey having sex. The little girl asked again, "Mommy, what are they doing?" Again the mother replied, "Oh their making cakes." The next day, the little girl confronted her mom, "Mommy, I know you and daddy we’re making cakes last night." The mom was frightened and asked, "How did you know?" The little girl replied, "I l ... read more

Q: What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? A: They can both smell it, but can't eat it.

What are the small bumps around women’s nipples? It’s Braille for ‘suck here’.