There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. Steve Martin

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‘Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.’ Rodney Dangerfield

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Q. How do you know when you are getting old? A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.

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A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore. "Do you have any idea why?" "Well, I had sex with an elephant!" "You did? But elephants are known to have small penises!" "Yeah, but he fingered me first."

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A guy gets out of the V.D. Hospital and decides to a hire a hooker, since he's been without for so long. Before long, he brings one home, and they have sex four times. After it's over, he turns to her and tells her he hasn't had sex in four months because of being in the V.D. Hospital. "How's the food there?" asks the hooker. "Because I'm going in there tomorrow!"

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