Q: How old is your son, the one living with you. A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years.

An old man goes into a pharmacy, asks for two Viagra pills and demands that the pharmacist cut them in half. The pharmacist winks at him, "OK, but do you realize they won't be as effective?" The old man says, "Listen sonny, I'm 80 years old. I don't want them for sex. I need them for getting me hard enough so I don't pee on my shoes."

Wine improves with age – the older you get the more you like it.

An elderly Canadian gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked, sarcastically. The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously. "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready." The Canadian said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible, Canadians always have to show your passports on arrival in France!" The Canadian senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look, then he qu ... read more

A married couple in their 60's are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish. "I want to travel around the world with my darling husband", says the wife ...2 tickets for a luxury cruise magically appear in her hand ! Husband says "sorry love, my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me ..." So the fairy waves her wand and the husband becomes 92 !