Yo mama is so old she was electrocuted with steam.

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Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.

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A:I have the perfect son. Q:Does he smoke? A:No, he doesn't. Q:Does he drink whiskey? A:No, he doesn't. Q:Does he ever come home late? A:No, he doesn't. Q:I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he? A:He will be six months old next Wednesday.

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COP: "When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least." LADY: "You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old.”

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Yo' Mama is so old, she went to an antique shop, and they kept her.

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