I like my women the same as I like my whiskey ... 20 years old and mixed up with coke !

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: 'Are you the owner?' The pharmacist answers yes. Says Jacob: 'We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?' Pharmacist: 'Of course we do.' Jacob: 'How about medicine for circulation?' Pharmacist: 'All kinds.' Jacob: 'Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? ' Pharmacist: 'Definitely.' Jacob: 'How about Viagra?' Pharmacist: 'O ... read more

An advertisement: I change 40-year-old wife to two 20-years-old ones. Do not offer four 10-year-old ones.

How are women and linoleum floors alike? You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.

A young woman for whom a marriage with an old man was being arranged by her parents refused to go through with the ceremony because as she put it, " I don't want to feel old age creeping on me!"