An old Jewish beggar was out on the street, begging with his tin cup. A man passed by and the beggar said to the man, "Sir, could you spare 3 cents for a cup of coffee?" And the man said, "Where do get coffee for 3 cents?" And the beggar said, "Who buys retail?"

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What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday? A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.

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What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten? An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!

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How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group? Look for gray hares.

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The boss snubs his employee because he took a flashlight with him to a date: "What kind of crap happens nowadays? When I was in your age, I wasn’t carrying any flashlight with me on a date. I was always meeting my girlfriends in the dark." "And what did that got you... Take a look at what you’ve married in to!"

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