A horse walks into a bar. He walks up to the bartender and says "Give me a beer." The bartender is stunned, so he heads to the back of the bar to speak with the owner. "Hey boss" he says, "there's a horse in the bar asking for a beer." The bar owner pauses for a second, then replies "Well then give him one, but charge him double. Horses don't know the price of beer." So the bartender heads back out front and hands the horse a beer. "You know," says the barkeep, "we don't get many horses around here." To which the horse replies, "At these prices I'm not surprised."

So Descartes goes into a bar late one night for a beer. At closing time, the bartender makes Last Call and asks him, "Get you another?" Descartes replies, "I think not." And disappears.

A ham sandwich walked into a bar and the bartender said: "We don't sell to ham sandwiches." But the sandwich replied: "That's okay, I only want a beer."

Q: What's the difference between a dog and a fox? A: About eight beers.

Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!" The policeman said, "What's he like?" Little Johnny replied, "Beer and women!"