One night a man walks into a bar looking sad. The bartender asks the man what he wants. The man says “Oh just a beer”. The bartender asked the man “Whats wrong,why are you so down today?”. The man said “My wife and i got into a fight,and she said she would’nt talk to me for a month”. The bartender said “So whats wrong with that”? The man siad “Well the month is up tonight”.

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The bartender asks: "Would all three of you like some beer?" The first one replies, "I don't know." The second one replies, "I don't know either." The third replies, "Yes."

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A man walks into a bar, and orders a beer. As he sits there, the jar of nuts on the bar tells him what a nice shirt he is wearing. Disturbed by this, he goes to the cigarette vending machine to buy a pack of smokes. As he approaches the machine, it starts screaming and shouting at him. He runs to the bar and explains this to the barman. The barman apologizes and says "The peanuts are complimentary, but the cigarette machine is out of order"!

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Q: What is a man's idea of a balanced diet? A: A Budweiser in each hand!

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Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.

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