Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?
A: The accountant knows he's boring.
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Q: If an accountant's wife cannot sleep, what does she say?
A: "Darling, could you tell me about your work."
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Q: Why accountants don't read novels?
A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
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Q: What is the definition of "accountant"?
A: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
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A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing:
"He's such a sensitive child.
Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
