Q: Why accountants don't read novels? A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.

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A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

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What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.

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It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.

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Q: What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? A: Lazy.

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