Q: What is the definition of "accountant"?
A: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
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How do you know you have a great CPA?
He has a tax loophole named after him.
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A mugger stops a guy on the street at gunpoint.
"Give me all your money", he says.
The muggee isindignant.
"You can't do this," he yells. "I'm anIRS agent."
"In that case," says the mugger, "give me all MY money."
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Q: Why do accountants make good lovers?
A: They're great with figures.
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Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?
A: The accountant knows he's boring.
