Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical?
They have strong internal controls.
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Where do homeless accountants live?
In a tax shelter.
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The clerk walks into the boss's office and says,
"The auditors have just left, sir."
"Have they finished checking the books?", asks the boss.
"Very thoroughly," is the reply.
"Well, what did they say", says the boss.
"They want 15% to keep quiet."
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Q: What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.?
A: Lazy.
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How do you know you have a great CPA?
He has a tax loophole named after him.
