Q: Why do accountants make good lovers? A: They're great with figures.

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An IRS agent is lying on his psychiatrist's couch bemoaning the fact that everyone in the world hates him. "Nonsense", says his doctor. "Everyone in the world doesn't hate you. Everyone in the United States, perhaps, but certainly not everyone in the world."

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Q: What do you call a group financial controller who's lost his job? A: Bob.

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Q: What do you call a trial balance that doesn't balance? A: A late night.

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Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant? A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.

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