Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? A: The accountant knows he's boring.
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Q: If an accountant's wife cannot sleep, what does she say? A: "Darling, could you tell me about your work."
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Q: Why accountants don't read novels? A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
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Q: What is the definition of "accountant"? A: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
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A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing: "He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
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