Q: What is the definition of "accountant"? A: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
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An accountant and a lawyer were laying on a beach in Hawaii sipping mai tai's. The lawyer started telling the accountant how he came to be there. "I had this downtown property in Memphis that caught fire and after the insurance paid off, I came here." The accountant said, "I had a downtown property, too, in Miami. It got flooded so here I am with the insurance proceeds." The lawyer took another sip of his mai tai, and then asked in a puzzled voice, "How do you start a flood?"
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It's 4:04. Do you know where your auditor is?
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Q: Why accountants don't read novels? A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
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Q: Why do economists exist? A: So accountants have someone to laugh at.
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