Q: What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw? A: Outlaws are wanted.

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A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100." The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd. . ."

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Q: What happens when you give Viagra to lawyers? A: They grow taller!

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What do you call ten lawyers buried up to their necks in the sand? Football practice.

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An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. “All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards.”

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