A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?" The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds." The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"

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How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it and one to keep interrupting by standing up and shouting "Objection!"

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Out of courtesy, sharks never attack lawyers.

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I once meet a honest, caring, politician that listened when I spoke and tried to help the country. Then I woke up.

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How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water.

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