Why do they bury lawyers in 20ft holes? Because deep down they’re all really nice guys.

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What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A good lawyer knows the law, a great lawyer knows the judge.

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Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer who responded to the scene.

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Lawyer was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own defense. "You must swear to tell the complete truth. Do you understand?" The client replied that he did. The lawyer then asked, "Do you know what will happen if you don't tell the truth?" The client looked back and said, "I imagine that our side will win."

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What’s the difference between a dead lawyer in the road and a dead skunk in the road? There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

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