I once meet a honest, caring, politician that listened when I spoke and tried to help the country. Then I woke up.

 350

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Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!

 87

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A lawyer dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself greeted at the Pearly Gates by a brass band. Saint Peter runs over, shakes his hand and says, ‘Congratulations!’ ‘Congratulations for what?’ asks the lawyer. ‘We’re celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old.’ ‘But that’s not true,’ says the lawyer. ‘I only lived to be forty.’ ‘That’s impossible,’ replies Saint Peter. ‘We’ve added up your time sheets.’

 188

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What do you call Satan and a lawyer? Twins!

 207

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Q: And do you have a locker in that room? A: Yes sir, I do.

 184

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