Q: What do you call 400 lawyers at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean? A: A great place to start.

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The judge: Why did you shoot the rabbit without being a member of the hunters association? The inculpated: Why did the rabbit eat cabbage from my garden, without being a family member?

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What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? Insufficient sand.

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Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!" "I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."

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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers? New Jersey got to pick first.

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