A jury consists of twelve people chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.
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NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go and couldn’t return to Earth. The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. “A million dollars,” he answered, “because I want to donate it to M.I.T.” The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for $2 million. “I want to give a million to my family,” he explained, “and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.” The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer’s ear, “Three mi ... read more
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Q: How many lawyers does it take to build a wall? A: Depends on how deep you stack them.
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Why are lawyers buried 12 feet deep when they die instead of the normal six feet? Because deep down they are really good people.
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What’s the difference between a hooker and a lawyer? The hooker will stop screwing you when you’re dead.
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