How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
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Q: What do lawyers wear to court? A: Lawsuits!
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A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100." The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd. . ."
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Why was the cannibal fined by the judge? He was caught poaching.
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How do you call 5000 lawyers dead at the seashore? A good start...
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