John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink. "You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!" Now John gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive. "How do you know this, Sister?" "My Mother Superior told me so." "But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?" "Don't be ridiculous--of course I have never taken alcohol myself ... read more
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Man: You've brought religion into my life. Woman: Really? How? Man: Until I met you, I didn't believe in Hell.
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Religion is a lot more like politics. The only difference is that with religion you get to confess your own sins.
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Q: Why can't atheists solve exponential equations? A: Because they don't believe in higher powers.
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Did you hear about the aristocratic horse? He was the last of his race!
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