Religion is a lot more like politics. The only difference is that with religion you get to confess your own sins.

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Q: Why can't atheists solve exponential equations? A: Because they don't believe in higher powers.

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Question: What do you get if you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's witness? Answer: Someone who knocks on your door for no reason at all.

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Guy gets pulled over in his car by a pair of dudes in balaclavas, pointing guns in his face. Terrorist (menacing voice): "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?" Driver, panicking, doesn't know which answer will save his life, has a bright idea. Driver: "Neither, actually. In fact I'm Jewish." Terrorist shouts to other terrorist: "Fucking hell Abdul, we've got one at last!"

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Chuck Norris once drank wine from a chalice. This chalice is now known as the holy grail.

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