A boy at a cinema notices what looks like a bear sitting next to him "Are you a bear?" "Yes" "What are you doing at the movies?" "Well, I liked the book!"

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.” “Nah, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied. I’ve beaten him three games out of five."

What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy? Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!

You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can't jump at all. Well neither can a fence!

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse. Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass. When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter. When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell. He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, ... read more