You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
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What is a moo hoo for steak that came late?
Filet delay.
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What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day?
After a week he was spotless.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
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First Kangaroo: If you were surrounded by 30 lions, 25 elephants and 10 hippos, how would you get away from them?
Second Kangaroo: Step off the merry-go-round.