Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber? The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.

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What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits? A cud thud.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.

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A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."

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How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented? They were very impressed.

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