What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon? A bird who knocks before delivering its message !

 950

1  

What are cows favorite party games? MOO-sical chairs.

 370

0  

A man enters a little country store and sees a sign reading, ‘Danger! Beware of Dog’. He then sees an old hound dog lying asleep on the floor. ‘Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?’ says the man to the shopkeeper. ‘Yep,’ replies the shopkeeper. ‘Before I posted that sign, everyone kept tripping over him.’

 192

0  

Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming? He was a card shark.

 109

0  

Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."

 756

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