What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head? A tiger moth.

 14

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Why didn't the teddy bear eat his lunch? (Because he was stuffed!)

 157

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A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?" The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite." The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. "Ouch!" He says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!" The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog!"

 312

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What do you call a gigantic polar bear? Nothing, you just run away.

 10

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Why did the frog walk across the road? He didn't... he jumped.

 170

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