Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales? He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.

If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get? Half and half.

A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a ... read more

If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.

What do you call a frog with no legs? It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.