Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear? A. Because every time she got hot, he d beat her with a shovel!

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When is a lion not a lion? When he turns into his cage.

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What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle? A nerd herd.

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What do you call a gigantic polar bear? Nothing, you just run away.

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‘I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.’ Steven Wright

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