How do you start a teddy bear race? Ready, teddy, go.
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Where do milk shakes come from? Nervous cows.
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What did the bunny want to do when he grew up? Join the Hare Force.
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Q. What’s got 4 legs and bleeds? A. Half a spider!
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A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy. A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks. He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!"
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