One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his back yard. The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate. "Hello Johnny, what are you up to?" he asked. "My goldfish died and I'm gonna bury him," Johnny replied. "That's a really big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" asked the neighbor. "That's because he's inside your cat!"

 315

0  

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

 14

0  

What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."

 283

0  

How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it.

 833

0  

On the street strolls a chick dressed with fur from head to toes. Near hear another chick stops and says to hear: Do you imagine how many animals they had to kill for this coat? But do you know with how many animals I had to sleep with for it?

 153

0