What do reindeer say before telling you a joke? This one will sleigh you.

 17

0  

What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson? He stank to the bottom of the pool.

 12

0  

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

 13

0  

A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber ignored it, and takes the TV. Again, the parrot cries out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber started to get a little worried. "What's your name, birdie?" "Moses." "What dumbass named you Moses?" "The same dumbass who called his rottweiler Jesus."

 926

0  

How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten-tickles.

 467

0