Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because if she dropped them, they’d break.

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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."

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What happened to the lost cattle? Nobody's herd.

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Two men were walking along the street when they came upon a dog licking his dick. One man said, "I sure wish I could do that." The other replied, "You can, but you're probably going to have to pet him first."

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Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother? For smoking in bed.

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