Q: What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A: After a year the dog is still happy to see you.

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A dog goes to a telegraph office and dictates a message. ‘Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.’ The operator reads it back then says, ‘Y’ know, we charge per ten words. You could have an extra ‘woof’ for free.’ ‘No thanks,’ says the dog.

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Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.

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Q: Why are dogs such bad dancers? A: They have two left feet.

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What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil? Pre-tanned leather.

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