A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
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Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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What does a frog say when it sees something' great? Toadly awesome!
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A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
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You said it was a great horse and it is. It took twenty other horses to beat him!
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