How does Santa's accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.
 996
2  

Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in? Mini vans!
 1613
0  

This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
 1000
0  

Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears. Confused, his father asks what's wrong. "Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in."
 2037
0  

The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
 999
0