Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.
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My dad was a complicated man.
He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know?
Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black — that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
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Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
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Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
