Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!

 1789

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Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in? Mini vans!

 1675

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How does Santa's accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.

 1053

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Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"

 1935

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Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" "Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?" The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the d*ck goes under the horse, not on top of it!"

 1287

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