The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.

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Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck. There can only be 1 living legend.

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Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.

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Q: Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? A: Because he had low "elf" esteem!

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Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" "Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?" The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the d*ck goes under the horse, not on top of it!"

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