The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.

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One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

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How does Santa's accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.

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Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.

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Q: Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? A: Because he had low "elf" esteem!

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