Q: Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? A: Because he had low "elf" esteem!

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This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!

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How does Santa's accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.

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Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!

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The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.

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