The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town. They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.

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How does Santa's accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.

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Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck. There can only be 1 living legend.

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Santa delivers to Chuck Norris' house first.

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Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears. Confused, his father asks what's wrong. "Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in."

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