Q: Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? A: Because he had low "elf" esteem!
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Santa Claus arrives to a kindergarten and gives each child a present. Everybody received really cool presents – racing car models, ship models and similar. But one kid got only a pair of socks. A kid comes to him and teases him with his received brand new Formula 1 model and laughs at this socks-kid: LHey, what a shitty present you have received, look at my super car" said the kid offensively. "So what, at least I don't have cancer…"
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The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town. They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.
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Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in? Mini vans!
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If Santa comes down the chimney this year and tries to stuff you in his sack, don't worry, because I wished for you for Christmas.
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