Q: Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? A: Because he had low "elf" esteem!
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Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
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Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.
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Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
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Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears. Confused, his father asks what's wrong. "Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in."
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