Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" "Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?" The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the dick goes under the horse, not on top of it!"

 1254

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Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"

 1883

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Santa Claus arrives to a kindergarten and gives each child a present. Everybody received really cool presents – racing car models, ship models and similar. But one kid got only a pair of socks. A kid comes to him and teases him with his received brand new Formula 1 model and laughs at this socks-kid: LHey, what a shitty present you have received, look at my super car" said the kid offensively. "So what, at least I don't have cancer…"

 821

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Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.

 696

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What has antlers, pulls Father Christmas sleigh and is made of cement? I don't know. A reindeer. What about the cement? I just threw that in to make it hard.

 513

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