Office executive "Sir, can I have a day off next week to visit my mother-in-law?" Boss "Certainly not!" Office executive "Thank you so much sir! I knew you would be understanding."

At Andersen Air Force Base, Guam, a man in civilian clothes approached an airman and requested a vehicle pass. The young airman, fresh out of technical training, asked to see his military ID, driver's license and his vehicle registration. Noticing the letters BG on the man's identification, the new airman asked, "What's BG stand for - Big Guy?" "No," the man replied, leaning over the counter. "Try Brigadier General."

Pull on a coworker is to press ctrl+print screen on their workstation, then paste it into Paint, save the pic, and set it as the desktop background. Move all of their icons to the trash. When they get back to their desk, clicking won't accomplish anything!

Change the coffee in the office coffee maker to decaf.

A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift. "Well," says the doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you’ll have to come back in six months for a follow-up." "Oh, no.”" the woman replies. "I want it all done in one shot. I don’t want to have to come back." The doctor thinks for a second, then offers, "There is a new procedure where we put a screw in the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appearing, you just give it a little turn, which pulls the skin up and they disappear." "That’s what I want!" exclaims the lady. "Let’s do that." Six months later the lady c ... read more