Office executive "Sir, can I have a day off next week to visit my mother-in-law?" Boss "Certainly not!" Office executive "Thank you so much sir! I knew you would be understanding."

Put a "Please Use Other Door" sign on the entrance to your office building if it only has one entrance.

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job? A: Because it was soda pressing.

"Mommy," Little Johnny asked, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'?" "No, dear," she replied. "Sometimes they start with 'Darling, I'll be working late at the office tonight...'"

A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. "Oh, den I uses the last names."