One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner".
And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
1644
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Growing up, Samuel L. Jackson didn't have a mother and a father.
He had a mother and a motherf*cker.
437
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What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
319
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What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home?
"Where on Earth have you been?!"
580
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You have committed the grave tactical blunder of acquiring enough university credits to graduate.
So now you're leaving college and embarking on the greatest adventure - and the biggest challenge - of your young lives:
moving back in with your parents.