"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?" "My name is Paul."

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Yo Momma's so fat that when she sits on the beach, whales swim up to her and sing "We are family…!"

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0  

A kid was crying standing outside his house. A passer by asked: "Why are you crying?" Kid: "My parents are fighting inside the house." Passer by: "Who is your father?" Kid: "That is what the fight is about."

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My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it.

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Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team. "I blame the general manager," said the first fan. "If he signed better players, we'd be a great team." "I blame the players," said the 
second fan. "If they made more of 
an effort, we'd score some points." "I blame my parents," said the third. "If I'd been born in Seattle, 
I'd be supporting a decent team."

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