A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, “Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?” The little boy thinks for a moment and says, “NONE!” The teacher replies, “None, how do you figure that?” The little boy says, “if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence.” The teacher replies, “Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!” The little boy then says, “Teacher, let me ask you a question. There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ... read more

There were once these two blondes who were sitting around bored and alone one day. They noticed an article in the paper where they were selling bird dogs. Well they had heard that dogs make excellent companions so they went out to buy one. They brought the dog home and fell instantly in love with him. They had heard somewhere that bird dogs were smart and good at what they do. So the two blondes decided to take the dog outside and watch him do what he is was so good at doing. They tried it out a couple of times, but the blondes came off more disappointed than amazed at what the dog ... read more

A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?" The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue." The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo." "Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away. The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car. "Hey, they're st ... read more

Chuck Norris can milk birds.

George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt. This parrot was a very nasty parrot. It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took the parrot and put it in the freezer. The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped. George thought to himself, “On no! I froze my aunt’s bird to death.” He opened the door and saw the bird alive! The bird said, “I’m sorry for my behaviour and will never act up again. George said, “Why the change?” The bird answered, “Because I saw what you did to the other bird."