Q: What's a good holiday tip? A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets!

The Boyfriend says to his blonde girlfriend, "Look! A dead bird!" and the blonde looks up in the sky and says "Where?"

A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. Morals of the story: 1 ... read more

What happens when you kiss a canary? You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.