Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were having a conversation one fine Sunday evening. One remarked to the other, ‘I got a new hearing device and it works fine?' The second said, ‘oh yes, my grandchildren just love the gifts of my choice.' The third one who noticed the hearing device in the ear of the first one asked, what kind is it?' The one with the brand new hearing device answered ‘about 6 O'clock'. All three of them looked up in the birds in the sky and said, "Birds of the same feather ‘flock' together."

The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.

Q: What's a good holiday tip? A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, “Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?” The little boy thinks for a moment and says, “NONE!” The teacher replies, “None, how do you figure that?” The little boy says, “if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence.” The teacher replies, “Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!” The little boy then says, “Teacher, let me ask you a question. There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ... read more