Q: What can popsicles do that men can't? A: Come in five flavors.

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A farmer and a son live on a farm. The farmer is sitting in the kitchen when his son comes in from the barn with a large glass of white liquid. He is so excited because he's just milked a cow. Then he takes a big drink from the glass. His father just stares at him. "Son, we don't have a cow. We have a bull."

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What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection? An itchy, twitchy twat!

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Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup! Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot!

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An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel. "Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver." "I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart." "I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."

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