Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? A: The big hand touches the little one.

 216

0  

Q: What's grosser than gross? A: Two vampires fighting over a used tampon.

 191

0  

Teacher asks Little Johnny to use the word 'definitely' in a sentence. Little Johnny replies, "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?" The Teacher says, "Of course not Johnny," To which Johnny replies, "Then I have definitely shit my pants then..."

 519

0  

Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?" The other missionary replied, "I just peed in the soup!"

 173

0  

I met a girl who used masturbate to 2 girls 1 cup. And that kids, is how j met your mother.

 469

0