Three guys compare their levels of intoxication from a party the previous night. The first guy says, "Man, I was so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks." The second guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I woke up this morning on my front porch." The third guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I took a prostitute home to my wife." The first guy exclaims, "You guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog!"

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Q: What's the difference between boogers and broccoli? A: Kids don't eat broccoli.

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Do you know what would be sick? If you sat in Santa's lap and you felt him get a boner. Do you know what would be even worse? If he stood up and you were still sitting in his lap.

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How do you know if Dr. Dre has a high sperm count? Eminem has to chew before swallowing.

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Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't? A: A belly button between her boobs.

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