What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.

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Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't? A: A belly button between her boobs.

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One man says, "I can't believe they are still together after all that crap." The other man says, "Who?" The first man says, "Your butt cheeks."

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Q: What do Michael Jackson and Santa have in common? A: After a night of visiting children, they both have empty sacks.

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