Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job? A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.

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Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common? A: They just didn't listen

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Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? A: Gulp.

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What's grosser than gross? Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue. What's even grosser than that? When one of them throws up.

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A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.

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