A guy gets out of the V.D. Hospital and decides to a hire a hooker, since he's been without for so long. Before long, he brings one home, and they have sex four times. After it's over, he turns to her and tells her he hasn't had sex in four months because of being in the V.D. Hospital. "How's the food there?" asks the hooker. "Because I'm going in there tomorrow!"

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Do you know what would be sick? If you sat in Santa's lap and you felt him get a boner. Do you know what would be even worse? If he stood up and you were still sitting in his lap.

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What bounces up and down at 100mph? A baby tied to the back of a truck.

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What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection? An itchy, twitchy twat!

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What’s harder to do than nailing a baby to a tree? Nailing it to a dead puppy.

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