Q: What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef? A: Anyone can roast beef.

What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape? The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.

"How are your hemorrhoids?" "Swell."

A man goes into a psychiatric hospital to visit one of his buddies. As he is walking out he notices a guy pretending to be swinging a hockey stick. Curious, he asks: "What are you doing?" The guy replies: "I'm Wayne Gretzky, and I'm practicing my shot." Satisfied with the answer the visitor moves on down the hall. He notices another guy pretending to be playing golf. Curious, he asks: "What are you doing?" The guy replies: "I'm Tiger woods and I'm practicing my golf." Satisfied with this response the visitor again moves on down the hall. He then sees another guy sitting in a ... read more