Why did God give women legs? So they don't leave a trail like a slug.
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How do you know if Dr. Dre has a high sperm count? Eminem has to chew before swallowing.
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Q: What's the ultimate rejection? A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
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Q: How do you know you're in a vampire bar? A: There's a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary.
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Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot? Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"
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