Question: If you went to a party and woke up with a condom in your ass would you tell anyone? Answer: No! Response: Wanna go to a party?

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Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop? A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

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Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Para-olympics? A: Having two legs.

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A man farts in bed next to his wife. His wife asks, "What in the world was that?" He replies, "Touchdown. I'm winning, seven nothing." She decides to get even, so she lets one loose. He yells at her, "What was that?" She replies, "Touchdown, tie score." He wants to get her back, but he tries so hard he sh*ts in bed. The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?" He replies, "Halftime, switch sides."

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A: What does 70-year-old p***y taste like? A: Depends.

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