What is the definition of revenge?
A baby with a dog in its mouth.
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Q: What's red, sits in front of a mirror, and gets smaller and smaller?
A: A vain idiot combing his hair with a potato peeler.
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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends how hard you throw them.
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What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ?
Cancer.
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1
Three old men were sitting on a porch.
"I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one.
"I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another.
"I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
