An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”

 906

0  

What do gays call hemorrhoids ? Speed bumps.

 296

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Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?" The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."

 2093

4  

What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.

 1115

4  

There was a vampire who walked into a vampire bar and asked the bartender for a glass of hot water. The bartender asked what for, because everyone else was drinking blood. The vampire pulled out a bloody tampon and said "TEA TIME!"

 417

0