Why did God give women legs? So they don't leave a trail like a slug.
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Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
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Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.
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An Aggie and a Longhorn had just bought a ranch together, so they were driving the fence line to check everything out when they came upon a goat with his head stuck in a fence. So the Longhorn gets out of the truck, looks around, and then starts screwing the goat. He gets finished, takes a step back, ands asks the Aggie, "Hey, you want a piece of this?" The Aggie says, ´"Yeah, but do I have to stick my head in the fence?"
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Silence is golden. Unless you have an infant. Then its probably blue.
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