Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary? A: It runs in your genes.

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A woman walks into a restaurant and sits down. As she bends down to reach into her purse for her wallet, she farts loudly with the waiter right behind her. She sits abruptly back up, glares at the waiter and shouts “Stop that!” To which the waiter replies, “Sure, which way did it go?”

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An old woman goes to the doctor's office. The doctor gives her a checkup and says, "I need to do stool, blood and urine tests." The woman says, "Well can I just leave my underwear? Bingo starts in half an hour."

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How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.

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Say, "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart. So everybody takes a big whiff.

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