Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? A: The big hand touches the little one.

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Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't? A: A belly button between her boobs.

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Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore. Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!

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I love cats – they taste just like chicken.

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Prostitute 1: Tonight's my night I can smell c**k in the air. Prostitute 2: Oh, sorry. I burped.

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