Q: Why is it a bad idea for two butt cheeks to get married? A: Because they part for every little shit.

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Q: What's the difference between apple pie and pussy? A: You can eat Granmas apple pie.

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Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? A: The big hand touches the little one.

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Q: What's brown and in the military? A: Gomer's pile.

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A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one. After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm. "But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend. "Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."

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