Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job? A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
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Say, "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart. So everybody takes a big whiff.
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What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A salad shooter.
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When you're neckin' with yer honey And your nose is kinda runny You might think it's funny... But it's not.
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Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?" The other missionary replied, "I just peed in the soup!"
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