Malcolm: Miss Wilson can I go to the loo? Miss Wilson: In two minutes Malcolm. Do your alphabet first. Malcolm: Ok Miss Wilson. abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz. Miss Wilson: Very good, Malcolm, but where's the p? Malcolm: Miss, it's running down my leg!

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Q: What's the difference between a brown-noser and a sh*thead? A: Depth perception.

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A woman walks into a restaurant and sits down. As she bends down to reach into her purse for her wallet, she farts loudly with the waiter right behind her. She sits abruptly back up, glares at the waiter and shouts “Stop that!” To which the waiter replies, “Sure, which way did it go?”

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What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday? A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.

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2  

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs, with a ten inch penis? A: "Partially disabled."

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