Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads? So you can pick them up five at a time

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One day a guy and a girl were making out in her parents' bedroom, and it was getting pretty steamy. All of a sudden, the guy takes out his shlong and places it in her hand. She screams and runs downstairs, through the kitchen, through the living room, the bathroom, the dining room, back upstairs, through her bedroom, her bathroom, her sister's bedroom, down the hall and back into her parents' bedroom. "Listen, pal! I have two words for you -- DROP DEAD!" "I have two words for you -- LET GO!"

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Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?" The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."

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What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection? An itchy, twitchy twat!

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Q: What do you call a Shih-Tzu mixed with a poodle? A: A Shih-Tzpoo.

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