A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no -- he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in their area. The police tell the drunk party animal to stay put, they will be right back and they hop a fence and run down the street to the robbery. The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells h ... read more

There is a nigger and a Mexican in a car. Who is driving? Nethier, the cop is.

How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.

An old lady was speeding down the highway while she was knitting. A cop sees this and speeds up alongside her vehicle. "Pullover!" the cop says "No!" the woman replied, "They're mittens!"

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.