The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The guy replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it and received this reply. "For Heavens SAKES, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS! At 4 A.M. the next morning a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next. His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."

A trooper stops a car and he tells the driver he stopped him for speeding. The irate driver says, "You're nuts, I wasn't speeding!" The driver's wife says, "Oh you old fool you are always driving too fast!" The driver yells at his wife, "shut up, old lady." The trooper is taken aback by the exchange but tells the driver he also is in violation the seat belt law. The driver once again complains that he was wearing his seatbelt. The wife states, "You never wear your seatbelt." Driver "I am going to smack you if you dont shut up". Not wanting a fight the trooper asked the wife, "Doe ... read more

A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car's radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner." No one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off the corner!" Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled glances in his direction. Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?" ... read more

Brings little Johny a can to policeman and asks: Can you please open the can? Policeman knocks at it: Please open the door, police...