A frail little old lady walked up to a cop and said, "I was attacked! I was attacked!" The cop said, "When?" She said, "Twenty-three years ago." The cop said, "What are you telling me now for?" The little old lady said, "I just like to talk about it once in a while."

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Did you hear about the cannibal who joined the police force? He said he wanted to grill his suspects.

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Did you hear about the theft at the Viagra factory? The police are looking for some hardened criminals!

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Police Officer: "How high are you?" Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"

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"But my elderly aunt was considered a highly respectable spinster!" the society matron protested. "Can't you find some way to cover up the shocking fact that she died in bed while being simultaneously serviced by two paid studs???" "You just leave it to me, Mrs. Van Horn," soothed the police officer. "I'll just put it in my report that she died at the stroke of two."

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