A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin'... perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss." The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." The young man knit his brow. "Well, now," he said, ... read more

I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? They already have boyfriends.

Man comes home from work to find his boyfriend whacking off into a condom. Man says, "WTF?" Boyfriend says, "I am making you a sack lunch!"

Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend? A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!