2 boys searching for their lost girlfriends: 1st: How your girlfriend look like? 2nd: 5'6, hot, sexy, blue eyes... what about yours? 1st: Forget about mine.. lets search for yours.

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the plant and get some work done."

Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.

What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.

I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".