I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer... but no one will do it.

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I just ended a long-term relationship today. I'm not too bothered, it wasn't mine.

 312

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Me: "I'm so lonely." Person: "Hey!" Me: "Leave me alone."

 984

1  

Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.

 1271

1  

Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend? A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!

 324

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