What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name.

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the plant and get some work done."

Maths teacher: "If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Priya, 3 to Sonia and 2 to Penny then what will you get?" "3 new Girlfriends!"

One woman to another at a singles bar: “I’m not as optimistic about relationships as I used to be. These days, when I meet a man, I ask myself, 'Is this the guy I want my children to spend every other weekend with?'”

Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.