How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

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Me: "I'm so lonely." Person: "Hey!" Me: "Leave me alone."

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My girlfriend is like February 30th, she doesn't exist.

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Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.

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What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name.

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