5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".

The government shutdown has officially lasted longer than any of Taylor Swift's relationships.

Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their ... read more

“A happy marriage is nothing but a give and take relationship; the husband gives and the wife takes.”

Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.