The government shutdown has officially lasted longer than any of Taylor Swift's relationships.

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I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.

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I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".

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Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you? Girlfriend: It’s sufficient for me but how will you survive?

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Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course! Over and over! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: NO! Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling!

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