How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

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I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer... but no one will do it.

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Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.

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Me: "I'm so lonely." Person: "Hey!" Me: "Leave me alone."

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Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course! Over and over! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: NO! Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling!

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