I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.

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The government shutdown has officially lasted longer than any of Taylor Swift's relationships.

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Boy: I would go to the end of the world for you! Girl: yes, but would you stay there….

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Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend? A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!

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I just ended a long-term relationship today. I'm not too bothered, it wasn't mine.

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