If I've invested precious time and energy in a relationship, and I've been honest and open, hanging and coping, true blue, a good screw, to some fly guy who's out constantly getting high, then I'm dumped suicide is not one of my thoughts. I'm thinking maybe homicide.

 573

0  

"Does she have a boyfriend?" "Yes, a cute, strong and clever one." "What's the name?" "John, Michael and Bill."

 483

0  

What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.

 593

0  

“A happy marriage is nothing but a give and take relationship; the husband gives and the wife takes.”

 554

0  

Me: "I'm so lonely." Person: "Hey!" Me: "Leave me alone."

 1423

1