If I've invested precious time and energy in a relationship, and I've been honest and open, hanging and coping, true blue, a good screw, to some fly guy who's out constantly getting high, then I'm dumped suicide is not one of my thoughts. I'm thinking maybe homicide.

 540

0  

5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".

 1656

1  

Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you? Girlfriend: It’s sufficient for me but how will you survive?

 491

0  

Me: "I'm so lonely." Person: "Hey!" Me: "Leave me alone."

 1365

1  

My girlfriend is like February 30th, she doesn't exist.

 3616

1