Get bad marks, relatives will insult you. Get good marks, friends will insult you.

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So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.

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Bro, send me some good jokes. Sorry, now I'm busy with my Girlfriend. Good One! Send me more.

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When you are in Hospital, your friends ask: "Hey, how are you dear?" But your best friend ask: "Hey buddy, how is the nurse?"

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Benefits of having Alzheimer's: You can wrap your own presents. You are always meeting new friends.

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