Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day. "Yes," came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, "I've bought her a belt and a bag." "That was very kind of you," Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought." Tony smiled as he replied, "So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now."

 2209

0  

You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

 1959

1  

When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.

 4345

1  

Benefits of having Alzheimer's: You can wrap your own presents. You are always meeting new friends.

 1464

0  

Get bad marks, relatives will insult you. Get good marks, friends will insult you.

 4487

1