So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.

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Benefits of having Alzheimer's: You can wrap your own presents. You are always meeting new friends.

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(A) You are not Tom Cruise, (B) The guns may stop working at the last moment, (C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you, (D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf (E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!"

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Bro, send me some good jokes. Sorry, now I'm busy with my Girlfriend. Good One! Send me more.

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You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

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