When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.

When my daughter asked me what to buy her friends for graduation presents. I suggested morning-after pills and bus passes.

Five friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go for a picnic and party with some friends up there. They had a great time. However, after all the partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to College until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it. They explained that they had gone to an Old age home in the nearest town to spend some time with aged people for the weekend with the plan to come back and study but, unfortunately, they ha ... read more

I'm going to change my Facebook name to Benefits. Now, when someone adds me on Facebook, it will say: you are now friends with Benefits.