*How girls become friends* Omg I love your shoes! *How guys become friends* Excuse me sir, I see you fuck bitches, I myself, also fuck bitches. 574 0
When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline. 4150 1
You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense. 1763 1
I'm going to change my Facebook name to Benefits. Now, when someone adds me on Facebook, it will say: you are now friends with Benefits. 718 3
My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions. 1540 1