Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

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*How girls become friends* Omg I love your shoes! *How guys become friends* Excuse me sir, I see you fuck bitches, I myself, also fuck bitches.

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What is the best type of ship? FRIENDSHIP!

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You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

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So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.

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