So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.

 1108

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Patient to friend: "I saw the doctor to day about my loss of memory." Friend: "What did he do?" Patient: "He made me pay him in advance."

 1265

1  

Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day. "Yes," came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, "I've bought her a belt and a bag." "That was very kind of you," Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought." Tony smiled as he replied, "So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now."

 1881

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You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

 1760

1  

Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike? A. They are fun to ride but you don't want your friends to find out.

 3001

2