*How girls become friends* Omg I love your shoes! *How guys become friends* Excuse me sir, I see you fuck bitches, I myself, also fuck bitches.

 583

0  

So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.

 1130

0  

My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.

 1575

1  

Benefits of having Alzheimer's: You can wrap your own presents. You are always meeting new friends.

 1250

0  

You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

 1802

1