Remember your wife is a romantic who still loves flowers and chocolates. Show her you remember as well by referring to them occasionally.
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Wife to husband: ‘One more word and I’m going straight back to mother!’ Husband: ‘Taxi!!’
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Q: What's the difference between a divorce and a circumcision? A: In a divorce, you get rid of the whole schmuck.
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Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life...
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Three women talk about their husband's performance as lovers. The first woman says, "My husband is a marriage counselor, so he always buys me flowers and candy before we make love." The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and use leather sometimes." The third woman shakes her head and says, "My husband works for an Internet company. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it."
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