In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

 267

0  

Two old people flirt at a seniors' singles bar. After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, "If I took you out for a full night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?" The old woman replies shyly, "Depends..." "Depends on what?" he asks. "On my bottom - where else?!"

 1876

1  

A man finds a genie lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie comes out and says "I may grant you 3 wishes, but your wife gets double." The man wishes for a new car. The genie gives him a new car and the man's wife 2 new cars. The man then wishes for a new house. The genie gives him a new house and the man's wife 2 new houses. The man then says, "For my final wish, I wish to be beaten to half-death."

 1153

0  

There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman - before and after marriage.

 200

0  

He named the street he built after his wife. It was very apt, as she was cold, hard, cracked and only got ploughed around Christmas.

 161

0