Husband: I want to go somewhere on holiday this year I've never been before. Wife: Well, how about the kitchen?

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep ... read more

If you want to drive your wife crazy don’t talk in your sleep, just smile.

Q: Why did the married man sell his complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica? A: He didn't need them any longer his damn wife knows everything.