Wife to husband: ‘One more word and I’m going straight back to mother!’ Husband: ‘Taxi!!’
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He was in a position to marry anyone he pleased. Unfortunately he didn’t please anyone.
 171
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Doctor, my husband is 300% impotent. "I'm not quite sure what you mean. Could you elaborate?" "Well, the first part you can imagine, but he also burned his tongue and broke his finger."
 184
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Wives want to videotape the birth of their child, while husbands want to videotape the conception.
 723
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Husband: Everytime I hit you, you never fight back. How do you manage your anger? Wife: I clean the toilet seat... Husband: How does it help Wife: I use your toothbrush!
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