Since I got married I haven’t looked at another woman. My wife put me off them.

A Couple Before Marriage “MAD” For Each Other …After Marriage “MADE” For Each Other … And A Few Years Later “MAD” Because Of Each Other…

An 80-year-old man tells his wife, "I'm going to the doctor to get me some of those new Viagra pills." His wife gets her coat on and says, "I'm going to the doctor, too. If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm getting a tetanus shot."

One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away. Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?" The man replied, "Yep, sure do." Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?" "Nope, sure ain't," said the man. Perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?" The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."

An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel about s*x?" he asked, rather tentatively. "I would like it infrequently ", she replied. The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjus ... read more