If your dog was barking at the back door and your wife was knocking on the front door, who would you let in first? The dog – at least he would shut up once he was in.

The best way to get your husband to do something is to suggest he’s too old to do it.

What’s it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down? Marriage.

My best friend ran away with my wife. It's only been three days and I really miss him.

Three couples marry and stay at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they are taken care of by Dave the bellboy. The first man married a nurse. Dave thinks to himself, "Nurses are known to be hot to trot." The second man married a telephone operator. Dave thinks to himself, "Telephone operators have sexy voices." The third man married a school teacher. Dave thinks to himself, "Poor guy, teachers are frigid." The next morning, Dave reports to work and gets a room service call from the nurse's husband. He sourly says, "Don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night was 'You'r ... read more