Three women sit in a beauty parlor talking about their husbands. The first woman says, "Last night my husband said he was going to his office, but when I called they said he wasn't there!" "I know!" the next woman says, "Last night my husband said he was going to his brother's house, but when I called he wasn't there." The third woman says, "I always know where my husband is." "Impossible!" both women exclaim, "He has you completely fooled!" "Oh no," says the woman. "I'm a widow."

 169

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: ''I love the simple things in life, but I don't want one of them for my husband''.

 169

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The man was looking for a way, over and over, for his wife so she can drive more carefully and he found it; "Darling, if an accident happens, the police will record your real age!"

 348

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Air Force Approach: "Eagle 13, turn right to 330." Eagle 13: "Roger 330." App: "Eagle 13, I've been working since last night, Will you do me a favor?" Eagle 13: "Affirmative. Go ahead." App: "Down below on your right, you'll see a base house with yellow roof near the lake. That is my house. I had a fight with my Wife, and I'm worried she might take it out on my Harley. Do you see a Harley Davidson near the house?" Eagle 13: "Negative sir. Instead I can see a Ryder's truck."

 913

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I got home and found a man in bed with my wife. I said, ‘Who said you could sleep with my wife?’ He said, ‘Everybody.’

 174

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