Three guys sit in a bar complaining about their wives. The first guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries an automatic garage door opener in her car and she doesn't have a garage door." The second guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she listens to an iPod and she doesn't have any earphones." The third guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries a purse full of condoms and she doesn't even have a d**k."

 415

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I like a big, strong, hardworking man, a man who wakes up early in the morning eager to work hard. I'm talking day-in and day-out just working and sweating and sweating and working, and when it's all over, he showers and goes to his job.

 237

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If your dog was barking at the back door and your wife was knocking on the front door, who would you let in first? The dog – at least he would shut up once he was in.

 188

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Doctor, my husband is 300% impotent. "I'm not quite sure what you mean. Could you elaborate?" "Well, the first part you can imagine, but he also burned his tongue and broke his finger."

 174

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HOW did an Intelligent BOY PROPOSE to a Girl. He TOOK the Girl ALONG with him on a BOAT & in the MIDDLE of River said: "LOVE ME or LEAVE the BOAT."

 333

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