Man: You've brought religion into my life. Woman: Really? How? Man: Until I met you, I didn't believe in Hell.
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The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”
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If you want to drive your wife crazy don’t talk in your sleep, just smile.
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Q: What do you do when you see your husband staggering in the back yard? A: Shoot him again.
 191
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Three women talk about their husband's performance as lovers. The first woman says, "My husband is a marriage counselor, so he always buys me flowers and candy before we make love." The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and use leather sometimes." The third woman shakes her head and says, "My husband works for an Internet company. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it."
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