A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face. His best man asks, "Why do you look so excited?" The groom replies, "I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life, and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me." The bride waits at the other end of the aisle with a huge smile on her face. Her maid of honor asks, "Why do you look so excited?" The bride replies, "I just gave the last blow job of my entire life."

 225

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A man says to his friend, “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.” The friend says, “Why not?” The man says, “I don’t like to interrupt her.”

 219

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Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? When the kids are in college.

 999

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My wife and I have agreed never to go to bed angry with one another. So far we’ve been up for three weeks.

 197

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The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, “I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we’re going to be three in this house instead of two.” Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, “I’m glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us.”

 944

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