After 20 years of marriage, a wife finds out that her husband had been f*cking her for the past 20 years with a dildo! she is so angry she asks her husband to "Explain the dildo". The husband replies "explain the kids?!"

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Q: What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A: After a year the dog is still happy to see you.

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Husband: Want a quickie? Wife: As opposed to what?

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Q: Why is it a bad idea for two butt cheeks to get married? A: Because they part for every little shit.

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A preacher was giving a sermon to a full church when all of a sudden the devil appeared. He was menacing and threatening and the entire congregation started to flee the church except for one old man. When the church was empty the devil went up to the man and asked "aren’t you afraid of me, I’m evil incarnate, the most horrific being in the universe and will most likely torture you!" The man replied "You don’t scare me, I’ve been married to your sister for 35 years."

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