An old man goes into a pharmacy, asks for two Viagra pills and demands that the pharmacist cut them in half. The pharmacist winks at him, "OK, but do you realize they won't be as effective?" The old man says, "Listen sonny, I'm 80 years old. I don't want them for sex. I need them for getting me hard enough so I don't pee on my shoes."

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Q: Whats the generic form of Viagra? A: Mycoxaflopin.

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Q: Did you hear about the new Viagra eye-drops? A: Apparently they make you look hard.

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Q: Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra? A: So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the arse.

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A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet. His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off. Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating. "How come you are sweating?" he asks. The parrot replies, "Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?"

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