Q: Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra? A: So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the arse.

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An old man goes into a pharmacy, asks for two Viagra pills and demands that the pharmacist cut them in half. The pharmacist winks at him, "OK, but do you realize they won't be as effective?" The old man says, "Listen sonny, I'm 80 years old. I don't want them for sex. I need them for getting me hard enough so I don't pee on my shoes."

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A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet. His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off. Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating. "How come you are sweating?" he asks. The parrot replies, "Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?"

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Did you hear about the man who took Viagra and a laxative at the same time? He didn't know if he was coming or going.

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Viagra is like Disneyland; a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.

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