Q: Did you hear about the new Viagra eye-drops? A: Apparently they make you look hard.

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An old man goes into a pharmacy, asks for two Viagra pills and demands that the pharmacist cut them in half. The pharmacist winks at him, "OK, but do you realize they won't be as effective?" The old man says, "Listen sonny, I'm 80 years old. I don't want them for sex. I need them for getting me hard enough so I don't pee on my shoes."

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Q: What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra? A: He gets taller.

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Viagra is like Disneyland; a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.

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An 80-year-old man tells his wife, "I'm going to the doctor to get me some of those new Viagra pills." His wife gets her coat on and says, "I'm going to the doctor, too. If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm getting a tetanus shot."

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