Google+ is the gym of social networking.
We all join, but nobody actually uses it.
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Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
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What do you do for exercise?
I lift weights.
What do you do for cardio?
I lift weights faster.
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I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.
He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
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Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move?
A: The splits!