An old couple celebrates their 50th wedding anniversary in their home. "Just think," the old man says, "we were sitting here at this same breakfast table, naked as jaybirds, 50 years ago." "Well," the old lady snickers, "what do you say, should we get naked?" The two immediately strip to the buff and sit back down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady says slyly, "My breasts burn for you now as they did 50 years ago." "I'm not surprised," replies the old man. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!"

Two statues, male and female, faced each other in the city park for many years. An angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire." The statues came to life and smiled at each other. They ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping. After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, sat ... read more

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

A couple of senior couples were strolling along, wives in front, husbands in back chatting. Bernie turns to Marv and says, "Ya know, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Great prices, too." Marv smiles and says, "Well, we like to eat out too. So what was the name of this fine new eatery?" Bernie says, "You’re going to have to help me out here a little. What’s the name of that pretty flower, smells sweet, often red, grows on a thorny bush?" Marv grins again, "Well now, Bernie, sounds like a rose to me…" "Yes, yes, that’s it!" cries Bernie, then he calls ahea ... read more

A couple young, entrepreneurial prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on the top of their car that read: "Two Prostitutes – $50.00." A police officer, seeing the sign, pulled the ladies over and advised that they will have to remove the sign or go to jail. Right about that time a minivan passed by with a sign on the side of it that read: "Jesus Saves." "How come you don’t stop them?" asked one of the girls. "Well, that’s a little different," the officer replied… "their sign pertains to religion." The two ladies of the night pouted a bit, but they took their sign down and drove ... read more