A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ? The logician replies: "yes".

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

An engineer and a physicist are in a hot-air balloon. After a few hours they lose track of where they are and descend to get directions. They yell to a jogger, "Hey, can you tell us where we're at?" After a few moments the jogger responds, "You're in a hot-air balloon." The engineer says, "You must be a mathematician." The jogger, shocked, responds, "yeah, how did you know I was a mathematician?" "Because, it took you far too long to come up with your answer, it was 100% correct, and it was completely useless."

Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: Because she couldn't find the 11

Q:Why do they never serve beer at a math party? A:Because you can't drink and derive...