Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house? A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.

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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9!

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Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children? A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."

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I used to think maths was useless, but then one day I realised that decimals had a point.

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