Sex is like math: Add the bed Subtract the clothes Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply

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Q: What did one math book say to the other? A: Don't bother me I've got my own problems!

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Teacher: "Are you good at math?" Pupil: "Yes and no." Teacher: "What do you mean?" Pupil: "Yes, I'm no good at math!"

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An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician are on a train in Scotland. The astronomer looks out of the window, sees a black sheep standing in a field, and remarks, "How odd. Scottish sheep are black." "No, no, no!" says the physicist. "Only some Scottish sheep are black." The mathematician rolls his eyes at his companions' muddled thinking and says, "In Scotland, there is at least one field, containing at least one sheep, at least one side of which appears black from here."

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If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my math class: it would seem so much longer.

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