Teacher: Your behaviour reminds me of square root of 2? Student: Why? Teacher: Because its’ completely irrational.

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Q: Do you already know the latest stats joke? A: Probably...

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I used to think maths was useless, but then one day I realised that decimals had a point.

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Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: Because she couldn't find the 11

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Q: Why accountants don't read novels? A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.

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