Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children? A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."

2 > 1... unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.

A guy is flying in a hot air balloon and he's lost. So he lowers himself over a field and shouts to a guy on the ground:"Can you tell me where I am, and which way I'm headed?" "Sure! You're at 43 degrees, 12 minutes, 21.2 seconds north; 123 degrees, 8 minutes, 12.8 seconds west. You're at 212 meters above sea level. Right now, you're hovering, but on your way in here you were at a speed of 1.83 meters per second at 1.929 radians" "Thanks! By the way, are you a statistician?" "I am! But how did you know?" "Everything you've told me is completely accurate; you gave me more detail than I nee ... read more

Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.

Yo momma is so stupid when they asked her 1+1 she said "Ouch! it is a long story."