I just saw a mexjcan guy walking down the street with a tv and I thought " wow, that looks just like mine." But I knew mine was at home shining my shoes.

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What’s in the bags?" "Sand," answered Juan. The guard says, "We’ll just see about that – get off the bike!" The guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border. The next ... read more

Why were there only 5000 mexicans at the Alamo? Because there were only 2 vans.

Q: What happens when four mexican guys are standing in quick sand? A: Quatro Sinko.

Q: How many cops does it take to arrest a Mexican? A: Eight. One to carry him, the rest to carry his oranges.