Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
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Q: Did you hear about the new Viagra eye-drops? A: Apparently they make you look hard.
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Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
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A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?” “What dear?” She asked gently. “I think you bring me bad luck.”
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Q: Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused a Novocain injection during root canal treatment? A: He wanted to transcend dental medication!
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