When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.

What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.

Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.

There are only two things to worry about: Either you are well, or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if your sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you will get well, or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about. But if you die, there are only two things to worry about. Either you will go to heaven or hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends, you won't have time to worry.

In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".