What happens when you kiss a canary? You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.

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Yo' Mama is so skanky, her crabs ride dune buggies.

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Patient goes to Doctor, doctor starts looking at him... - Good, good, good... - Doctor, what's good? - Good that I don't have what you have...

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"How are your hemorrhoids?" "Swell."

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Why did the computer get cold? Because it forgot to close windows.

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