Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out. Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences. Then hang up.
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When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.
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Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute girl get for Christmas? A: Cancer.
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Yo' Mama is so stanky, she gets sourdough yeast infections.
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When you break a leg it is actually not your leg that is broken. It´s Chuck Norris´s leg. He owns everything including you and your pityful leg.
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