Q. Why is it okay for dumb blonde's to catch cold? A. They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.

When you break a leg it is actually not your leg that is broken. It´s Chuck Norris´s leg. He owns everything including you and your pityful leg.

There are only two things to worry about: Either you are well, or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if your sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you will get well, or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about. But if you die, there are only two things to worry about. Either you will go to heaven or hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends, you won't have time to worry.

Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack. His heart is too smart to not attack him.

What's the definition of bravery? A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!