Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.

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How did the tugboat get AIDS? It was rear-ended by a ferry.

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Doctor: "What seems to be your trouble?" Patient: "When I get up I feel dizzy for one hour." Doctor: "Try getting up one hour later."

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Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."

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A fat lady (To a health expert): "Give me some advice that can reduce my fatness." Health expert: "Okay. You must move your head to the right and the left at a particular time." Fat lady: "At which particular time?" Health expert: "Whenever anybody asks you to eat."

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