Hung Chow calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I not come work." The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. Makes everything better and I can go to work. You try." Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."

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Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.

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When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.

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Doctor: "Sir, I have some bad news; you have been diagnosed with cancer and Alzheimers." Old man: "Well, at least I don't have cancer!"

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Yo' Mama is so stanky, she gets sourdough yeast infections.

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