What do you do for exercise? I lift weights. What do you do for cardio? I lift weights faster.

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Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy? He did okay until his business fell off.

 617

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A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams inagony. She pushes her knee and screams,pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No, I'm really a blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken

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Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out. Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences. Then hang up.

 328

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What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection? An itchy, twitchy twat!

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