A woman runs into a doctor’s office and says “DOCTOR! DOCTOR! You have to help me! Everywhere I touch on my body it hurts!” The doctor replied, “Show me.” So the woman poked her ankle and screamed of pain. Then she poked her knee and yelled OW. She poked her forehead and screamed again. She was about to continue when the doctor said, “That’s enough, let me think this over.” He thought for about a minute and said “I think I know what your problem is. You broke your finger.”
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What do you do for exercise? I lift weights. What do you do for cardio? I lift weights faster.
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Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever. That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
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Doctor: "Sir, I have some bad news; you have been diagnosed with cancer and Alzheimers." Old man: "Well, at least I don't have cancer!"
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Yo' Mama is so skanky, her crabs ride dune buggies.
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