Q: Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused a Novocain injection during root canal treatment? A: He wanted to transcend dental medication!

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What do gays call hemorrhoids ? Speed bumps.

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Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out. Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences. Then hang up.

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A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams inagony. She pushes her knee and screams,pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No, I'm really a blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken

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Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face. Nobody would survive anyway.

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