What do gays call hemorrhoids ? Speed bumps.

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In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.

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There are bats hanging of a branch upside down, all except one. Two bats comment: "What's happened to this one? I don't know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted.

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Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?" His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."

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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

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