Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face. Nobody would survive anyway.

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If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.

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What do you do for exercise? I lift weights. What do you do for cardio? I lift weights faster.

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Your moma is so ugly...she could make medicine sick!

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The Teacher asked Little Johnny, "How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?" Little Johnny replied, "Just Don't bite any."

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