Q. Why is it okay for dumb blonde's to catch cold? A. They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.

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What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection? An itchy, twitchy twat!

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A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"

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Doctor (to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?" Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it." Doctor: "Why?" Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"

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Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.

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