Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues? Because he had a stinking cold.

Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy? He did okay until his business fell off.

There are bats hanging of a branch upside down, all except one. Two bats comment: "What's happened to this one? I don't know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted.

An old sailor was out walking on the dock one day when he met a former ship mate of his. They had not seen each other for many years so they had much to talk about and many old memories to renew. After some time, one said to the other, "If you don’t mind my saying so, you don’t look very good, you must have experienced some bad luck." "Yes," the other one said, "I have. You see this peg leg? Well, one day I was out on deck and my leg become dangled up in a loose line and it was so badly mangled that they had to take it off at the knee." His friend agreed that was bad luck. The other ... read more

Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever. That man still holds the record for most bones broken.