Doctor: "Sir, I have some bad news; you have been diagnosed with cancer and Alzheimers." Old man: "Well, at least I don't have cancer!"
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Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."
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Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live." Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!" Doctor: "Nine."
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2  

Q: What's worse than having termites in your piano? A: Crabs on your organ.
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If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
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