A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully said each word right up to the end… "And lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."

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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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Question: What happened to the only man that finally figured women out? Answer: He died laughing.

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One attractive young businesswoman to another over lunch: "My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying."

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"There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works."

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