Question: How do you fix a woman’s watch? Answer: You don’t. There’s a clock on the stove.

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I've got a new anorexic girlfriend. Its not going too well though. I'm just seeing less and less of her ...

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Seven days on a honeymoon make one hole weak.

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What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday? A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.

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Q: Why did God invent yeast infection? A: So women know what it feels like to live with an annoying c*nt.

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