What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.

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In the beginning of time, God created the world and then rested. Then he created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then neither God nor man has rested.

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I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives. The one guy said, “I’m a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional.” The second guy responded, “I’m a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids.” They then asked the woman, “What are you?” She replied: “I’m a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc.”

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Question: What’s the difference between your wife and your job? Answer: After five years, your job still sucks.

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