A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk."
Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
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Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man.
But hell does that burn!
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Why is it called PMS? — Because “Mad Cow Disease” was already taken.
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Q: Why are there only snow men and not snow women?
A: Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with, "A man once told me..."
