Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you? Answer: Shorten the chain.

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Q: Why do horny women order at Subway? A: Footlongs.

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A man is sitting in a bar when a beautiful woman walks up and whispers in his ear, “I'll do anything you want for 50 bucks.” He puts his drink down and starts going through his pockets. He pulls out a ten, two five's, a twenty and ten ones. He thrusts the wadded up money into the woman's hand and says, "Here...paint my house.”

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Why was the name "P.M.S." chosen ? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken...

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A girl visited her boyfriend, which was still living with his mother, at his house. His mother had Puritan principals. The mother, as long as the girl was there, didn’t even try to hide her dislike feelings for his son’s choice. "Mom, can I escort Helen?" The girl, waiting to hear a cold hearted "no", she surprised hears: "Sure... You can! Escort her... to the corner with your eyes!"

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