Lisa needs brain surgery and figures its easier to buy a new brain. She asks the doctor what he has on sale. "Well you're in luck I have two in stock, a man's brain for $1000, and a woman's for $100." Surprised she asks why the price difference? "Generally women brains run cheaper because they come to us used!"

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What’s the difference between goats and women?? Goats are always horney.

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HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her. HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN Arrive naked... with beer.

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Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice. Except for Chris Brown.

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A Woman asks a Waiter What is this fly doing in my Ice cream? The waiter says, "SHIVERING MADAM".

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