Two men work in a mortuary. One says to another, "You should see that woman they brought in today. She'd been in the water for a week. Her clit was like a pickle." "Ew!" says the other fellow. "It was green?" "No, it was sour!"

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1 woman and 9 men shipwreck on a deserted island. After one week, the woman, disgusted by the things she was doing, kills herself. After another week, the men, disgusted by the things they were doing, buried her. After another week, the men, more disgusted by the things they were doing, dug her up.

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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with, "A man once told me..."

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Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Because they don't have balls to scratch.

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I like my girl to be Hannah on the streets but Miley in the sheets.

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