Lady goes to her doc. "Doc, I have quite the problem. I can't control my gas. All day long I'm farting and farting. The only good news is they are the 'silent but deadly' type. The Doc pauses for a moment and replies, "first let's get you fitted for a hearing aid."

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Question: Why do women have smaller feet than men? Answer: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

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How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist? A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.

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A man is in a bar and has one too many drinks. This beautiful lady sits down next to him. He turns to her and says "Hey how bout it. You and me, gettin it on. I've got a couple dollars and it looks like you could use a little money." She stands up and says, "What makes you think I charge by the inch."

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Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.

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