A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"

 592

0  

I've got a new anorexic girlfriend. Its not going too well though. I'm just seeing less and less of her ...

 182

0  

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

 294

0  

Q: Why is life like a penis? A: Women make it hard!

 250

0  

A Jewish guy got in a taxi cab...5 min into a ride the driver notice a man beating up a woman on the other side of the street. The driver rush to the scene. He open the door ran out as soon as he did that the Jewish guy roll down his window as fast as he can and shouted, "Stop it, stop it, stop the meter."

 570

0