Trainer: If an old man and a child come near your car, what will you hit? Girl: Old man. Trainer: Idiot. You should hit the BRAKE.
 508
0  

Boy: (calls 911) Hello, I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what’s your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning.
 806
0  

Grandfather: When I was your age, I used to go to the market with two Rupees and bring home soap, rice, milk, bread, ghee, face powder etc. Grandson: nowadays it is difficult. There are CCTV cameras everywhere.
 2848
4  

A man was complaining to a railroad engineer. What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late. The railroad engineer replied. How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?
 822
0  

Relative: Son, what’s your age? Guy: 25 Relative: it’s an age of marriage, son. When will you marry? Guy: Very soon. And what’s your age, uncle? Relative: 70 Guy: it’s an age of death, uncle. When will you die?
 793
0