Trainer: If an old man and a child come near your car, what will you hit? Girl: Old man. Trainer: Idiot. You should hit the BRAKE.

 583

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Teacher: Can you see God? Student: No Teacher: Can you touch God? Student: No Teacher: Then there is no God Student: Ma’am can you see your brain? Teacher: No Student: Can you touch your brain? Teacher: No Student: Okay! No comments!!

 1102

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Boy: Hey, you look so beautiful Girl: Aww. Thank you. I don’t know what to say. Boy: Just lie something, like I did.

 1103

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd."

 845

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A man meets an accident with his new Ferrari. A policeman arrives. Man: (Cried) Officer! My brand new car! Police: You’re such a materialistic person. You even haven’t notice that your left arm has been cut off. Man: (He looks at his left arm and yells) OMG! My Rolex watch!

 887

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