Doctor: I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live. Patient: What do you mean by 10? 10 what? Years? Months? Weeks?! Doctor: Nine.. Patient: What? Doctor: Eight..

 2041

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Boy: Hey, you look so beautiful Girl: Aww. Thank you. I don’t know what to say. Boy: Just lie something, like I did.

 1250

0  

A teacher is talking to a student. Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself.

 1236

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Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? A: Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!

 1033

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd."

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