Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? A: Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!

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Wife: Look at that drunk guy Husband: Who is he? Wife: 10 years ago he proposed me and I rejected him Husband: Oh my God. He is still celebrating.

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Salesgirl: Sir No smoking in the shop Man: But I purchased cigarette from your shop. Salesgirl: Sir we sell condoms too.

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Trainer: If an old man and a child come near your car, what will you hit? Girl: Old man. Trainer: Idiot. You should hit the BRAKE.

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Interviewer: Do you speak English? Applicant: Yes Interviewer: Name? Applicant: Gurmeet Ram and from India Interviewer: Sex? Applicant: Three to five times a week. Interviewer: No, no… I mean male or female? Applicant: Yes, male, female, sometimes Pig. Interviewer: Holy cow! Applicant: No Cow she is our mother and we drink her piss. Interviewer: But isn’t it hostile? Applicant: Horse style, doggy style, any style! Interviewer: Oh dear! Applicant: No, no! Deer runs too fast.

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