A man was complaining to a railroad engineer. What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late. The railroad engineer replied. How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?

 891

0  

Boy: hey babe can I show you something? Girl: sure babe Boy: can I show this in your room? Girl: OK Boy: can we close the window? Girl: sure Boy: can you close the door? Girl: okay (grasping) Boy: can you turn off the lights? Girl: sure (even grasping) Boy: grab my hand Girl: (grab his hand) what is it, babe? Boy: look at this, my watch can glow in the dark

 1025

0  

Salesgirl: Sir No smoking in the shop Man: But I purchased cigarette from your shop. Salesgirl: Sir we sell condoms too.

 832

0  

Doctor: I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live. Patient: What do you mean by 10? 10 what? Years? Months? Weeks?! Doctor: Nine.. Patient: What? Doctor: Eight..

 1741

0  

Teacher: Anyone who thinks he’s stupid may stand up! *Nobody stands up* Teacher: I’m sure there are some stupid students over here! *Little Johnny stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny you think you’re stupid? Little Johnny: No… I just feel bad that you’re standing alone.

 982

0