A teacher is talking to a student. Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself.

 1159

0  

A man meets an accident with his new Ferrari. A policeman arrives. Man: (Cried) Officer! My brand new car! Police: You’re such a materialistic person. You even haven’t notice that your left arm has been cut off. Man: (He looks at his left arm and yells) OMG! My Rolex watch!

 940

0  

Trainer: If an old man and a child come near your car, what will you hit? Girl: Old man. Trainer: Idiot. You should hit the BRAKE.

 622

0  

Boy: hey babe can I show you something? Girl: sure babe Boy: can I show this in your room? Girl: OK Boy: can we close the window? Girl: sure Boy: can you close the door? Girl: okay (grasping) Boy: can you turn off the lights? Girl: sure (even grasping) Boy: grab my hand Girl: (grab his hand) what is it, babe? Boy: look at this, my watch can glow in the dark

 1151

0  

On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed. "What's the matter? Are you sick?" "No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see an old lady standing."

 941

0