Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer? because the grass tickles their balls :)

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Billionaire Richard Branson has withdrawn from a sponsorship deal of Chesterfield Football Club. He stated that 'he couldnt have the name VIRGIN on the teams shirts ... when they get fucked every week !'

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An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel. "Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver." "I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart." "I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."

 593

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Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.

 527

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Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.

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