The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.

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After football fans in Philadelphia were treated to a particularly excruciating loss earlier in the season, a man phoned a sports-radio talk-show host to say, "Everyone should call in and give one word for that game." "What's your word?" the host 
replied. "Bored out of my mind," said the caller.

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Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married? A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.

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The one thing I've learned from the World Cup is that Europe still hasn't mastered the haircut.

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A first-grade teacher can't 
believe her student isn't hepped up about the Super Bowl. "It's a huge event. Why aren't you excited?" "Because I'm not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too," says the student. "Well, that's a lousy reason," says the teacher. "What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?" "Then I'd be a football fan."

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