The one thing I've learned from the World Cup is that Europe still hasn't mastered the haircut.

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Chuck Norris hit a home run in a football game.

 491

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"Football is a game when 22 big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while 50,000 people who really need the exercise sit in the stands and watch them."

 577

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A first-grade teacher can't 
believe her student isn't hepped up about the Super Bowl. "It's a huge event. Why aren't you excited?" "Because I'm not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too," says the student. "Well, that's a lousy reason," says the teacher. "What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?" "Then I'd be a football fan."

 624

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? "To get his Quarter back."

 544

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