Why did the football coach go to the bank? "To get his Quarter back."

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.

Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team. "I blame the general manager," said the first fan. "If he signed better players, we'd be a great team." "I blame the players," said the 
second fan. "If they made more of 
an effort, we'd score some points." "I blame my parents," said the third. "If I'd been born in Seattle, 
I'd be supporting a decent team."

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old football players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when a foul is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, or attack the referee. Do you understand all that?" Again the little boy nodded. He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it's not ... read more

A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student. "Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?" "The Red Sox." "Why's that?" "Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too." "That's not a good answer, Bobby. If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?" "No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"