Why are football stadiums always cool? "Because they're full of fans."

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Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.

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After football fans in Philadelphia were treated to a particularly excruciating loss earlier in the season, a man phoned a sports-radio talk-show host to say, "Everyone should call in and give one word for that game." "What's your word?" the host 
replied. "Bored out of my mind," said the caller.

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Coach: Your roommate and the captain of the team reported that you have many bad words for me in your sleep! So do you abuse me in your sleep! Football Player: Coach, It is just not true! Coach: What is not true, I trust the captain and I am asking this in front of him! Football player: Coach, It is untrue that I was sleeping!

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The one thing I've learned from the World Cup is that Europe still hasn't mastered the haircut.

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