Billionaire Richard Branson has withdrawn from a sponsorship deal of Chesterfield Football Club. He stated that 'he couldnt have the name VIRGIN on the teams shirts ... when they get fucked every week !'

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Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team. "I blame the general manager," said the first fan. "If he signed better players, we'd be a great team." "I blame the players," said the 
second fan. "If they made more of 
an effort, we'd score some points." "I blame my parents," said the third. "If I'd been born in Seattle, 
I'd be supporting a decent team."

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Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.

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The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.

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After football fans in Philadelphia were treated to a particularly excruciating loss earlier in the season, a man phoned a sports-radio talk-show host to say, "Everyone should call in and give one word for that game." "What's your word?" the host 
replied. "Bored out of my mind," said the caller.

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