Why are football stadiums always cool? "Because they're full of fans."

Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old football players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when a foul is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, or attack the referee. Do you understand all that?" Again the little boy nodded. He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it's not ... read more

The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.

What did the cow wear to the football game? A Jersey.