There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

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Algorithm. Word used by programmers when they don't want to explain what they did.

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Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses? A: Because they don't C#.

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How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.

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A foo walks into a bar, takes a look around and says: "Hello world!"

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