Jesus and the devil were arguing over which one of them was the better computer programmer. "I am!" Jesus shouted. "No, I am!" the devil countered. "I am!" "I am!" "Me!" "No, me!" "EEEEEEENOUGH!" God bellowed, and the whole universe disappeared into darkness. When the lights came back on, two computers were sitting in front of them. God said "Now, whoever makes the best computer program in twenty minutes wins." Jesus and the devil both sat down, typing and clicking furiously. This went on for about 15 minutes, but then there was a power failure, and everything went dark. When ev ... read more

Programming is like sex One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

Why was the computer tired when he got home? Because he had a hard drive.

Programmer. A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the IT professional, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.