How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the November 5th bonfire? Zero Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.

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What's an extroverted IT professional? One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you, instead of his own.

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Chuck Norris can make a Java Program in visual studio 2010.

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A Computer Engineer was asked by his five-year-old son: "Dad, what is Windows 95?" "Well, it’s 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition."

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Q: Why did the programmer quit his job? A: Because he didn't get arrays.

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