What did the blanket say to the bed?
Don't worry Ive got you covered!
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What is the difference between pressure, anxiety and panic attacks?
You have pressure when your wife is pregnant.
You are anxious when your girlfriend is pregnant.
You have panic attacks when both of them are pregnant!
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Every night I play a game called "Should I pee or can I hold it till morning".
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"Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade."
"Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet?"
"Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."
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Where do homeless accountants live?
In a tax shelter.
