When a married man says "I'll think about it", what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, rings the bell, and waits for the receptionist to come out. He looks her dead in the eye, slams three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"

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What was Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1

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Los Angeles Homeless... Homeless people here are different. You ever notice that? Our homeless people are serious, man. They have signs that not only say, "Will work for food," some of them have what they want: "Baked potato, salad, shrimp, sweet potato pie, sour chives."

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What is Jehovah's wiseness favorite band? The Doors.

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