A diner complained, "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!" His waiter replied, "That's entirely possible; our cook used to be a tailor."
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Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus.
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You WILL be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
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Yes, money cannot buy happiness, but it is much more comfortable to cry in a new BMW than on a bike.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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