How many mexicans does it take to build... Oh shit, They're done!
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About 4,000 years ago: God: "I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!" Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note* God: "Correction, I shall create a great flood!"
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Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson are hiking. They hiked all day long and then, having gotten tired, unpacked and quickly retired. Holmes wakes up deep into the night, wakes Watson and says "Watson, do you see the bright stars and do you notice how clear the sky is? What can you deduce from it?" Watson yawns and tries to play the game. LWell, this clearly tells us the weather tomorrow is going to be dry and sunny." "No, my friend. It’s much simpler than that. Someone has stolen our tent."
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Doctor: "You have trouble with your throat? Have you ever gargled with salt water?" Patient: "Yes. In last summer, I was almost drowned while swimming."
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
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