A pastor was caught stealing in the church by a member of the church. This was the conversation between them Pastor: Blessed are those who see and don't talk. Member: For they shall receive their share. Amen.

 648

0  

Romi (to the doctor): "Doctor, my sister thinks that she is a lift." Doctor: "Tell her to come in." Romi: "I cannot" Doctor: "Why so?" Romi: "Because she does not stop at this floor."

 266

0  

I don't understand why people pay shrinks when I'll tell them what's wrong with themselves for free.

 259

0  

On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.

 1450

1  

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C. The Russians used a pencil.

 150

0