Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life...
 102
1  

You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts... Man, and do you have life? OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
 509
0  

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Yell at her.
 205
0  

Justin Bieber got 100,000 retweets for tweeting "Live life full". That's just 3 random words. I'm going to try now. Jockstrap squirrel potatoes.
 711
0  

I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment about their mustache, and suddenly she is not your friend anymore...
 178
0