Doc, I think I need to wear glasses Indeed you have to, you are in a bank.
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Q: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food? A: Gaelic breath.
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Boy asks his Gran nervously, "have you seen my pills ... they were labeled LSD ?" Gran replies "fuck your pills ! Have you seen the dragon in the kitchen ?!"
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The first half of life if ruined by your parents, the second by your kids.
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A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?"
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