Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.

Q: Why don't witches wear panties when flying on their broomsticks? A: Better traction.

What do you call an intelligent man in America? A tourist.

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. All he needed to do was somehow get to the airport, and then he'd be home-free. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home. He offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc... The cabbie said, "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell o ... read more

Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car he walks.