Q: Why haven't they sent any women to the moon? A: Because it doesn't need cleaning yet.

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Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!

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Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station? Because it's a mane-lion station.

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A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would there be any "we" in the first place."

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A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree. He is watched by a sparrow who can't help laughing and eventually says "Don't you know there aren't any apples on the tree yet?" "Yes," said the snail, "but there will be by the time I get up there."

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