Chuck Norris can take the bridge to nowhere and actually reach his destination.

You must keep in shape. My grandmother started walking five kilometers when she was 60 and now she's 97, and we don't have a clue where she is!

A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?" The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It'll take you right there." She thanked the officer and he drives off. Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop. The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capi ... read more

Q: Why don't witches wear panties when flying on their broomsticks? A: Better traction.

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.