Wherever you go, Chuck Norris will already be there.

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight number 293, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather head is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendan ... read more

Why dont mexicans cross the border in groups of 3's? Cuz the signs at the border say no Trespassing.

There were two blonds on their way to Disney World. When they were getting close there was a sign that read, “DISNEY WORLD LEFT,” So they turned around and went home.

Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands. Now they are pregnant.