When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon he saw aliens worshiping Chuck Norris's footprints.

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side…

An old lady really wanted to visit England, the home of her ancestors, before she died. So she went to the Federal Office and asked for a passport. “You must take the loyalty oath first,” the passport clerk said. “Raise your right hand, please.” The old gal raised her right hand. “Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?” The sweet old face paled and the voice trembled as she responded, “Well, I guess so, but. . .will I have help, or will I have to do it all by myself?”