Chuck was once on the Olympics and he won all the medals but he was disqualifyed for roundhouse kicking the judges because they misspelled his name.

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A couple of years ago the english national team was about to start training in preparation for an important qualifying match when the manager at the time, Sven-Goran Eriksson, discovered a big turd in one of the penalty areas on the practice pitch. Ok boys, he said, who's shit on the ground? Emile Heskey replied: "Me coach, but I'm good in the air!"

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Why can't girls play hockey? Because their pads can't last three periods.

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Yo mama's so skinny, she used a needle for a baseball bat.

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Q:What's the hardest thing about learning to play tennis? A:Telling your parents that your gay!

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