A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green." The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole. "Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro. "Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup," the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again. "Oh great! NOW you tel ... read more

The way from the cabins to the ring is too long, says the boxer. No worries, on your way back you will come back with the stretcher...

In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft. In today’s civilized society, it is called golf.

"Waiter, this vinegar is rather lumpy." Waiter: "That's because they're pickled onions, sir."

Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music? "Because he broke the record."