Why are football stadiums always cool? "Because they're full of fans."

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Four men were stranded in a desert. Suddenly, 1 of them died. The other 3 decided that the only way to survive was to eat the dead body. The 1st man said, "I support Liverpool, so I'll eat his liver." The 2nd man said, "I support Manchester, so I'll eat his chest." The 3rd man said, "I support Arsenal... but I'm not very hungry!"

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Chuck Norris sky dives without a parachute.

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The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.

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Yo' mama so fat, people exercise by doing laps 'round her!

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