Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund

Q: What's the difference between hockey player and hippie girl? A: Hockey player will take shower after 3 periods.

There are these two guys named John and Cliff. They were best friends and were so obsessed with baseball that they would go to 60 games a year and analyze every scoreboard. They even promised each other that when one of them goes to heaven, the deceased one would come back and tell the other whether there was baseball in heaven or not. One night Cliff dies in his sleep after watching a Chicago White Sox game — Chicago won, so at least he died a happy man. The next day Cliff returns to earth to see his friend. "Hi, John.”" "Cliff, is it really you?" "Hey, I told you I’d be back to tel ... read more

Did you hear John McEnroe went for an audition for the latest Harry Potter film? They turned him down, saying "You cannot be Sirius!"

Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training? A: Studying their Miranda Rights.