Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

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Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.

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Q:What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A:Santa stops after three hos.

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A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?" The husband said, "No sweetie." The woman said, "I'm sure you would." So the man said, "Okay, I would" Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?" And the man replied, "Ya, I guess so." Then the wife asked, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?" And the husband replied, "No, she's left handed."

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"Waiter, this vinegar is rather lumpy." Waiter: "That's because they're pickled onions, sir."

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