I bought a racehorse today, I called him My Face.
I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, "Come on My Face."
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I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
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Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year.
In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
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What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court?
Annette!
