The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. "Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?" she asked the instructor. "P-u-t-t is correct," he replied. "Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."

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Q: How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast? A: Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.

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Golfer: "Well caddy, do you like my game?" Caddy: "Very good, sir! But personally I prefer golf."

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A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student. "Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?" "The Red Sox." "Why's that?" "Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too." "That's not a good answer, Bobby. If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?" "No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"

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What do you get if you cross a football team and an ice cream? Aston Vanilla.

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