Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
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What season is it when you are on a trampoline? Spring time.
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How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist? A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
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Why did the man keep doing the backstroke? He’d just had lunch and didn’t want to swim on a full stomach!
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A college freshman decided to try out for the football team. "Can you tackle?" asked the coach. "Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters. "Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?" "Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash. "Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?" The freshman hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."
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