Getting money out of my father was like taking candy from a baby.
He used to scream and cry like hell.
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Q: How do you know if Asians are moving into the neighborhood?
A: The Mexicans start buying car insurance.
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1
Being poor has its advantages.
For example your keys are never in your other trousers.
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If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter, and another quarter, and then another quarter, how much would you have left?
A million dollars minus 75 cents.
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Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
