‘Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.’ Spike Milligan

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The Engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer enquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?" The Engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" And the interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you ... read more

Yo' Mama is so poor, her face is on the food stamp.

Why’s a fat woman like a skateboard? They’re both fun to ride, but you wouldn’t want your friends to see you on one.

Why don't cows ever have any money? Because the farmers milk them dry.