What's the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist only takes the skin.
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A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company. Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes it is." Boy: "I have a baseball." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "My dad's outside." Man: "OK, how much?" Boy: "£250." In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together. Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a ba ... read more
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Q: What do you call a Democratic buffet? A: A free for all.
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I saw a tramp who was so broke he was standing on the corner shouting, ‘Will work for cardboard and a magic marker!’
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
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