Did you hear about the gypsy who won the Lottery? He got paid in travellers’ cheques.

Yo' Mama is so poor, when she farts, her holey underwear whistles.

Tony ambled into a bar, and noticed a bucket behind the counter filled to the brim with cash. "Is there a contest on to win that dough?" Tony asked the bartender. "Yep," the barkeep responded, "It costs $50 to enter, and then you have to do three things: First you've got to knock out Spike, our 300-pound bouncer. Then we've got a pit bull out back with an abscessed tooth, and it's up to you to yank it out. Finally, the 90-year old lady who owns this place is upstairs. If you can give her a multiple-orgasm, all the money's yours." Tony was up for it. He paid the fee and approached the hulk ... read more

A guy was talking with his friend: I’ve managed to separate from my wife in common agreement: she gets the house and I get the car and desk. Ok, but how about your finances? The lawyer takes care of those...

If you want to know God’s opinion of money just look at the people He gave it to.