No matter how hard we try, we never seem to save any money. Our neighbours are always buying something we can’t afford.

 177

0  

I asked the boss if I could get a raise, and he said, "Because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position's productive capacity as juxtaposed to the industry standards, it would be monetarily injudicious to advocate an increment." I said, "I don't get it." He said, "That's right."

 768

0  

I’ve just come into some money. I wonder if they’ll still accept it at the shop?

 158

0  

Father's Day always worried James. He was afraid that he will get a gift he can't afford.

 840

1  

Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" "Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?" The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the d*ck goes under the horse, not on top of it!"

 1259

0