Did you hear about the cover-all insurance policy?
If you bump your head, they pay you a lump sum.
192
0
A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs from her.
When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"
171
0
The cost of living is the difference between your net income and your gross habits!
191
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"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding."
1305
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A beautiful woman enters a bar and sits next to a lawyer.
"Listen honey," she says, "For $50, I’ll do absolutely anything you want."
The lawyer looks around, pulls fifty dollars from his wallet and says, "Paint my house."