Happy Father's Day to someone who knew long before me that all the boys I brought home were jerks.

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Happy Father's Day to the only person on the planet still willing to employ me.

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Please let me know in advance if you want to invite any secret love children to your Father's Day brunch.

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By tradition, fathers wear a red flower on Father's Day, if their father is alive and a white flower if he's dead. And if they have a nagging wife and a house full of screaming kids, they wear a pink flower - which means they are living but wish they were dead.

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What is the perfect Father's Day gift? Taking your Mom away on a vacation with you.

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