Q: What do u call 1,000 black people on a plane back to Africa? A: A good start.

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My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. I'm still employed. I just can't remember where.

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I really do have a soft spot for my MIL. It's out in the garden behind the garage.

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Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team. "I blame the general manager," said the first fan. "If he signed better players, we'd be a great team." "I blame the players," said the 
second fan. "If they made more of 
an effort, we'd score some points." "I blame my parents," said the third. "If I'd been born in Seattle, 
I'd be supporting a decent team."

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Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast? A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.

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