Scientis cannot figure out where Atlantis is... Chuck Norris owns a villa there.

Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast? A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.

Once visiting Arizona, Chuck Norris spat on the ground. The place is now known as the meteor crater.

A homo went to Denmark to have a sex change operation performed. When 'SHE' returned, a friend asked, "How did it go?" "Oh awful, just awful!" she replied. "What was so awful?" asked the friend, "Did it hurt a lot when they removed the extra parts?" "Oh no," she replied, "That wasn't bad at all." "Well, did it hurt when they put in the silicone implants?" the friend asked. "Oh no, that wasn't bad either!" she replied. "Well then," asked the friend, "What was so awful?" "It was when they cut a hole in my head and took out half my brain!"

Chuck Norris once decided to dig a hole, today we call it the Grand Canyon.