It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July.

What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii? Moo moos.

Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert? A: Peach gobbler.

A homo went to Denmark to have a sex change operation performed. When 'SHE' returned, a friend asked, "How did it go?" "Oh awful, just awful!" she replied. "What was so awful?" asked the friend, "Did it hurt a lot when they removed the extra parts?" "Oh no," she replied, "That wasn't bad at all." "Well, did it hurt when they put in the silicone implants?" the friend asked. "Oh no, that wasn't bad either!" she replied. "Well then," asked the friend, "What was so awful?" "It was when they cut a hole in my head and took out half my brain!"

Q: What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common? A: They've both been laid all over America.