Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
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Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
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Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
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A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
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Not only CAN Chuck have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
