What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion. You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.

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How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day? You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a bouquet of roses up his ass.

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Why do cannibals make suitcases out of people's heads? Because they're headcases.

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Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.

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