Once there was a bartender who claimed he was the strongest man on earth, he could squeeze every drop of juice out of a lemon and he bet $10,000 that no one could squeeze anymore out of a lemon he has squeezed People came in from all over the country, body builders, weight lifters, wrestlers, or anyone that wanted to try. But no one could squeeze anymore juice out of the lemons. Then one day a little nerdy looking guy walks in and everyone laughs at him when they hear he is there to try to squeeze a lemon. So the bartender squeezes a lemon into a cup an hands him what is left over. T ... read more

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings." The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings ... read more

A white guy goes into a bar and sees a black bartender. He says, "yo, nigger, get me a beer!" The bartender says, "that's very rude. How would you like it if I talked to you like that?" The white guy says, "let's switch places and see!" So they switch places. The bartender says, " yo, cracka, get me a beer!" The white guy says, "sorry, we don't serve niggers here!"

A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "hey, will you give me a free beer if I show you something amazing you've never seen before?" The bartender says, "sure, but it'd better be good." The man reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He sets the hamster down on the bar, and the hamster runs along the bar, jumps off the end, turns a somersault in midair and lands on the piano. He the proceeds to play the piano beautifully. The bartender says, "Wow! That was incredible! Have a beer." The man finishes his beer and says to the bartender, "hey, if I show you someth ... read more

The bartender looks a little worried, but asks him what would he like. "A cup of boiled water please" "Water? I thought you guys drank blood" "Today I was in the mood for tea", says the vampire while taking out a tampon.