Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't? A: A belly button between her boobs.

 401

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Q: Why did the astronaut retire? A: He got spaced out!

 294

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While vacationing in a remote area of Alaska, I met an old mountain man, wise in the ways one need be to live in an extreme wilderness area like he did. I asked him about the weater, did it rain a lot? He said; "See those mountains over there" and he pointed to them." I replied, "Yes." "Well," he replied, ".. if you can't see those mountains, that means it's raining. If you can see them, that means it's going to rain."

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My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

 226

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A Pontiac takes examinations for the driver’s licence for the fourth year in a row. The examiner asks him "So, you’re running on the street. You have a mountain on your right and there’s a cliff on your left. There are two women in your way; the one young and the other an old woman. Which one are you going to hit?" "Of course the old woman!" The examinet frustrated "I told you last year! You hit the brakes!"

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