My husband retired, and for the first time in over 40 years I had to think about preparing midday meals. Tired of it after several months, I said, “I married you for better or worse, but not for lunch.” “Fair enough. From now on I’ll make my own,” he replied. A few weeks later he had to go downtown on business and invited me to join him after wards. “We could have lunch at that Chinese place we both like,” he suggested. I happily agreed. At the restaurant the next day we were seated, and the waiter came to take our order. My husband looked up, a twinkle in his eyes and said, “Separate ch ... read more
 880
0  

A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth. Question: What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth? Answer: A full bus of old men.
 329
0  

Doctor: "Sir, I have some bad news; you have been diagnosed with cancer and Alzheimers." Old man: "Well, at least I don't have cancer!"
 327
6  

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.
 248
0  

What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common? You don't look down.
 403
0