In what type of weather is the vet the busiest? When its raining cats and dogs.
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Yo Momma's so fat that while she's sits on the beach, the lifeguard comes up to her to say, "Excuse me mame, but the tide wants to come in."
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Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.
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McNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. "It’s to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes," she explains. When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. "Miss," he said, "I’m meetin’ me wife right away. How do I get the gum out of me ears?" Kelly was standing in front of Cohan’s Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car, jumped in, and pulled on the emergency brake with a jerk. Kelly got out and very proudly said to the man approaching him, "I stopped it! ... read more
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Chuck Norris can strike the same lightning twice.
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