In what type of weather is the vet the busiest? When its raining cats and dogs.

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Why do blondes like lightning? "They think someone is taking their picture."

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Chuck Norris is the reason there is wind. The air tries to get away from him as fast as possible.

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A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"

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Vaginas are like weather, when it's wet, it's time to go inside.

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