Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
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After Chuck Norris sweats the sweat evaporates into the sky and forms what we call lightning.
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In what type of weather is the vet the busiest? When its raining cats and dogs.
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Hurricane Katrina wasn't the weather... it was the wind of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick from Texas to Louisiana.
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A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
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