Chuck Norris is so awesome, he can dodge rain.
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There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
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Vaginas are like weather, when it's wet, it's time to go inside.
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Why did the mean teacher walk around with her purse open? She'd read there was going to be some change in the weather.
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While vacationing in a remote area of Alaska, I met an old mountain man, wise in the ways one need be to live in an extreme wilderness area like he did. I asked him about the weater, did it rain a lot? He said; "See those mountains over there" and he pointed to them." I replied, "Yes." "Well," he replied, ".. if you can't see those mountains, that means it's raining. If you can see them, that means it's going to rain."
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