Chuck Norris owns the gold color at the end of the rainbow.

There was a tornado in my area the other day. The sky was so black; it took my bike.

What are the similarities between a new wife and a tornado, there's a lot of suckin and blowin and then u lose ur house.

McNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. "It’s to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes," she explains. When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. "Miss," he said, "I’m meetin’ me wife right away. How do I get the gum out of me ears?" Kelly was standing in front of Cohan’s Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car, jumped in, and pulled on the emergency brake with a jerk. Kelly got out and very proudly said to the man approaching him, "I stopped it! ... read more

It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July.