It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: “Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing. ” Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: “Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class.”

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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up. Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!

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Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because then the children have to play inside.

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Men are like.....Weather. Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

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Chuck Norris owns the gold color at the end of the rainbow.

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