A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."

 154

0  

Chuck Norris has sneezing allergies in the mid-to-late fall. This time is typically referred to as hurricane season.

 147

0  

It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July.

 7332

1  

An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat. "But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously. "Oh certainly, ma am," said the manager smoothly. "After all, you've never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"

 114

0  

Chuck Norris can strike the same lightning twice.

 125

0