Yo' mama so stupid, she thought the Blizzard of '96 was a new item at Dairy Queen!

 358

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Chuck Norris doesn't sweat. He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.

 308

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Tornadoes have sirens to warn them when Chuck Norris is coming.

 289

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Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.

 282

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Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.

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