Why did the mean teacher walk around with her purse open? She'd read there was going to be some change in the weather.
 439
0  

Chuck Norris can create tornados by running around in circles.
 160
0  

Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
 272
0  

It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July.
 7397
1  

McNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. "It’s to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes," she explains. When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. "Miss," he said, "I’m meetin’ me wife right away. How do I get the gum out of me ears?" Kelly was standing in front of Cohan’s Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car, jumped in, and pulled on the emergency brake with a jerk. Kelly got out and very proudly said to the man approaching him, "I stopped it! ... read more
 889
0