Chuck Norris can wipe rainwater from inside his car.

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Climate change is just Chuck Norris playing with the thermostat.

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Q: Why are native Americans effective strippers? A: When they dance they make it rain.

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A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"

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What are the similarities between a new wife and a tornado, there's a lot of suckin and blowin and then u lose ur house.

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