What does an octopus wear on a cold day? A coat of arms.

While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather, to how things used to be in the “good old days.” Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, “Roy, aren’t you and your bride celebrating your fiftieth wedding anniversary soon?” “Yup, we sure are,” Roy replied. “Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?” another man asked. The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied, “For our twenty-fifth a ... read more

It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.

There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called Monday.