Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.

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Q. What is Snoop Dog's favorite weather? A. Drizzle

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Chuck Norris can "make it rain in Southern California".

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There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

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Q: How did the hail stone describe its life? A: It really has a lot of ups and downs.

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