There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called Monday.

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Chuck Norris can paint the rainbow... with black.

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The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.

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It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: “Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing. ” Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: “Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class.”

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Q: Did you hear the joke about an Earthquake and Japanese nuclear reactor? A: Not cool.

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