Q: Why are native Americans effective strippers? A: When they dance they make it rain.

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Tornadoes have sirens to warn them when Chuck Norris is coming.

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There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called Monday.

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Vaginas are like weather. When it's wet, it's time to go inside.

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A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"

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