Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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Q: Why does California have so many destructive earthquakes and Alabama has black people?
A: California got first pick.
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After Chuck Norris sweats the sweat evaporates into the sky and forms what we call lightning.
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Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
