Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday.

 1749

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Two old people flirt at a seniors' singles bar. After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, "If I took you out for a full night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?" The old woman replies shyly, "Depends..." "Depends on what?" he asks. "On my bottom - where else?!"

 1923

1  

Just heard someone bragging about his one night stand. Whatever mate, I've got two night stands. Either side of my bed.

 1163

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I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.

 1474

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.

 1439

1