Just heard someone bragging about his one night stand. Whatever mate, I've got two night stands. Either side of my bed. 1098 0
Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss. 1568 0
Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote. 1695 1
