I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.

 1465

0  

Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.

 1433

1  

Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A. They're married.

 1043

0  

'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."

 2338

1  

Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.

 1917

0