I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.

 1249

0  

Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.

 1285

1  

"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?" "What" "We're both ugly!"

 4612

1  

Q: What's the difference between me and a calendar? A: A calendar has dates.

 1729

1  

5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".

 1540

1