Two old people flirt at a seniors' singles bar. After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, "If I took you out for a full night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?" The old woman replies shyly, "Depends..." "Depends on what?" he asks. "On my bottom - where else?!"

 1930

1  

Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.

 1446

1  

Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.

 1688

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5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".

 1734

1  

Just heard someone bragging about his one night stand. Whatever mate, I've got two night stands. Either side of my bed.

 1168

0