Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.

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Q: What's the difference between me and a calendar? A: A calendar has dates.

 1667

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Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday.

 1363

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I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.

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Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A. They're married.

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