Just heard someone bragging about his one night stand. Whatever mate, I've got two night stands. Either side of my bed.

 1129

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Q: What's the difference between me and a calendar? A: A calendar has dates.

 1900

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"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?" "What" "We're both ugly!"

 4756

1  

Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A. They're married.

 1001

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Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.

 1612

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