I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.

 1295

0  

"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?" "What" "We're both ugly!"

 4642

1  

'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."

 2088

1  

Q: What's the worst thing about being lonely? A: Playing Frisbee.

 6449

2  

Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.

 1464

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