Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.

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Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.

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Q: What's the worst thing about being lonely? A: Playing Frisbee.

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Q: What's the difference between me and a calendar? A: A calendar has dates.

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Me: "I'm so lonely." Person: "Hey!" Me: "Leave me alone."

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