Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.

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5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".

 1637

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Me: "I'm so lonely." Person: "Hey!" Me: "Leave me alone."

 1345

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Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.

 1761

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Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A. They're married.

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