5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".
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Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
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Q: What's the worst thing about being lonely? A: Playing Frisbee.
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"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?" "What" "We're both ugly!"
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Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.
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