Q: What's the difference between me and a calendar? A: A calendar has dates.

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"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?" "What" "We're both ugly!"

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Two old people flirt at a seniors' singles bar. After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, "If I took you out for a full night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?" The old woman replies shyly, "Depends..." "Depends on what?" he asks. "On my bottom - where else?!"

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.

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Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A. They're married.

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