Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.

 1419

0  

'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."

 1996

1  

I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.

 1236

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If tinder has taught me one thing it's that there is an extraordinary amount of single girls named Shelby that love to ride horses

 2153

1  

5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".

 1523

1