Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.

 1452

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.

 1299

1  

"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?" "What" "We're both ugly!"

 4627

1  

Two old people flirt at a seniors' singles bar. After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, "If I took you out for a full night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?" The old woman replies shyly, "Depends..." "Depends on what?" he asks. "On my bottom - where else?!"

 1593

1  

'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."

 2061

1