Me: "I'm so lonely." Person: "Hey!" Me: "Leave me alone."

 1206

1  

Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.

 1396

0  

I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.

 1208

0  

Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A. They're married.

 823

0  

Two old people flirt at a seniors' singles bar. After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, "If I took you out for a full night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?" The old woman replies shyly, "Depends..." "Depends on what?" he asks. "On my bottom - where else?!"

 1504

1