"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?" "What" "We're both ugly!"

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1  

Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.

 1906

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.

 1427

1  

Just heard someone bragging about his one night stand. Whatever mate, I've got two night stands. Either side of my bed.

 1154

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'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."

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1