Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.

 1606

0  

Me: "I'm so lonely." Person: "Hey!" Me: "Leave me alone."

 1406

1  

Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A. They're married.

 997

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Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.

 1850

0  

Q: What's the difference between me and a calendar? A: A calendar has dates.

 1896

1