Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.

 1745

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Q: What's the worst thing about being lonely? A: Playing Frisbee.

 6545

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Two old people flirt at a seniors' singles bar. After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, "If I took you out for a full night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?" The old woman replies shyly, "Depends..." "Depends on what?" he asks. "On my bottom - where else?!"

 1841

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"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?" "What" "We're both ugly!"

 4768

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I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.

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