I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.

 1305

0  

Q: What's the difference between me and a calendar? A: A calendar has dates.

 1788

1  

Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday.

 1517

0  

Me: "I'm so lonely." Person: "Hey!" Me: "Leave me alone."

 1289

1  

Just heard someone bragging about his one night stand. Whatever mate, I've got two night stands. Either side of my bed.

 1052

0