If tinder has taught me one thing it's that there is an extraordinary amount of single girls named Shelby that love to ride horses

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I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.

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Just heard someone bragging about his one night stand. Whatever mate, I've got two night stands. Either side of my bed.

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"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?" "What" "We're both ugly!"

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Two old people flirt at a seniors' singles bar. After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, "If I took you out for a full night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?" The old woman replies shyly, "Depends..." "Depends on what?" he asks. "On my bottom - where else?!"

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