Just heard someone bragging about his one night stand. Whatever mate, I've got two night stands. Either side of my bed.
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Me: "I'm so lonely." Person: "Hey!" Me: "Leave me alone."
 1257
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5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".
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Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
 1298
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If tinder has taught me one thing it's that there is an extraordinary amount of single girls named Shelby that love to ride horses
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