"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?" "What" "We're both ugly!"

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Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A. They're married.

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Just heard someone bragging about his one night stand. Whatever mate, I've got two night stands. Either side of my bed.

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I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.

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5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".

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