Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.

 1432

1  

Two old people flirt at a seniors' singles bar. After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, "If I took you out for a full night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?" The old woman replies shyly, "Depends..." "Depends on what?" he asks. "On my bottom - where else?!"

 1902

1  

"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?" "What" "We're both ugly!"

 4802

1  

Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.

 1915

0  

I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.

 1463

0