If tinder has taught me one thing it's that there is an extraordinary amount of single girls named Shelby that love to ride horses

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"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?" "What" "We're both ugly!"

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Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A. They're married.

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Me: "I'm so lonely." Person: "Hey!" Me: "Leave me alone."

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.

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