"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?" "What" "We're both ugly!"

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Two old people flirt at a seniors' singles bar. After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, "If I took you out for a full night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?" The old woman replies shyly, "Depends..." "Depends on what?" he asks. "On my bottom - where else?!"

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Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday.

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Q: What's the worst thing about being lonely? A: Playing Frisbee.

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Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.

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