Q: What's the worst thing about being lonely? A: Playing Frisbee.
 6510
2  

Q: What's the difference between me and a calendar? A: A calendar has dates.
 1865
1  

Just heard someone bragging about his one night stand. Whatever mate, I've got two night stands. Either side of my bed.
 1098
0  

Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.
 1568
0  

Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
 1695
1