I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.
 1292
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Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday.
 1504
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Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
 1597
1  

If tinder has taught me one thing it's that there is an extraordinary amount of single girls named Shelby that love to ride horses
 2222
1  

"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?" "What" "We're both ugly!"
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