Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.

 1780

1  

If tinder has taught me one thing it's that there is an extraordinary amount of single girls named Shelby that love to ride horses

 2442

1  

I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.

 1448

0  

"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?" "What" "We're both ugly!"

 4791

1  

5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".

 1716

1