Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."

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Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.

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Bill Gates is judged for bigamy. He says: If you live with two women’s it does not mean bigamy, it means multitasking.

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If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.

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Eminem says "I'm not afraid". Chuck Norris says "I love the way you lie"

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