Superman got his powers when Chuck Norris sneezed on him.

Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris

What does a black person and Batman have in common? They both can't leave home without Robbin.

Angelina Jolie can curve a bullet. Chuck Norris can curve a laser.

The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on stage in front of a huge crowd. The Pope leaned towards Mrs. Pelosi and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!" Pelosi replied, "I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!" So the Pope slapped her.