Q: Why aren't there more famous skeletons? A: They're a bunch of no bodies!

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Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."

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All these Miley Cyrus jokes are whoreable.

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Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.

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Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.

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