Taylor swift: so he calls me up and he's all like "I still love you" and I'm like...
Wait, is this Connor, Patrick, Joe, Luca, Taylor, John, Cory, Toby, Jake, Garret, Eddie, or Harry?
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How do you know a man is really a bad dancer?
When he can still step on Dolly Parton's toes.
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Growing up, Samuel L. Jackson didn't have a mother and a father.
He had a mother and a motherf*cker.
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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years?
A. Michael Jackson
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When Teddy Rosavelt said there is nothing to fear but fear itself he obiously hadn't met Chuck Norris.
