A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that." So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course, I would! We ... read more

Every time you're sad, just remember that somewhere out there a tree grew for years and years, but was then destroyed and became material for a Justin Bieber notebook.

In "I Am Legend", Will Smith survived alone for years. 24 hours after a woman shows up, he dies. AND that girl stole his bacon.

What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree? Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.

Bruce lee does not drink water, he drinks WATAAAA.