I just watched a documentary about Adolf Hitler. He sure was a popular guy. Everywhere he went, people shouted "Hi Hitler" and gave him a little wave.

"I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in." - Terry Venables.

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Bruce Lee is the only person that lived from a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. He died a year later.

During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses, and Saint Peter concluded that the behavior of Ex-President Clinton and Representative Condit had brought about the need for an eleventh commandment. They worked long and hard in a brain-storming session to try to settle on the wording of the new commandment, because they realized that it should have the same style, majesty and dignity as the original ten. After many revisions, they finally agreed that the eleventh commandment should be: "Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff."