Everytime a someone tells me my jokes are funny, I say, "Thanks! I got more lines than Whitney Huston's coffee table.".

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Apparently Neil Armstrong use to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and followed them up with "Ah, I guess you had to be there."

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CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.

 222

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Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face. Nobody would survive anyway.

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If Clint Eastwood told Chuck Norris to get off his lawn... Chuck would get the hell off his lawn!

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