An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it and received this reply. "For Heavens SAKES, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS! At 4 A.M. the next morning a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next. His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."

Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.

Q: Why was the guitar teacher arrested? A: For fingering a minor.

If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.

What do you call a black guy that doesn't rape white women? An inmate.