A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offence committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

Q: Why is marriage not a word? A: It's a lifelong incarceration!

What is the difference between a black monopoly board and a white one. The black on you roll any number and you go to jail.

What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison? A small medium at large.

Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."