What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
 431
0  

Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals. Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
 378
0  

A prisoner at the Edmonton Max started training a large fly to do tricks. For years, for thousands of hours, he worked with the insect. It learned to walk across a miniature high wire, ride a tiny one-wheel bike, balance on a pair of stilts and sing songs from Phantom of the opera. "When you and I get out of here," the jailbird said to the fly "we’re going to tour the nightspots and make a fortune." Finally the day arrived. Fly safely tucked away in his pocket, (inside its matchbox home), the ex-con made his way to a bar to celebrate. At the bar, he brought out his trick fly. On cue, ... read more
 806
0  

Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
 463
0  

If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
 819
0