A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain." "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back." "But, officer, I just wanted to say," "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!" A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding... He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."

Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.

Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals. Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.

What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison? A small medium at large.

If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.