A wife woke up in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house, and heard sobbing from the basement. After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found her husband curled up into a little ball, sobbing. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much. "Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant? And your father threatened me to marry you or to go to jail?" "Yes, of course," she replied. "Well, I would have been released tonight."

Q: Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window? A: Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.

A press release: "Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network penetration and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence."

Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."

What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison? A small medium at large.