Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.

Why don't black people pay rent? Because jail is free.

Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."

Aaron Hernandez goes to prison as a tight end. He'll come out a wide receiver!

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offence committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.