Man: Hello, my computer is reporting a fatal error! Customer Support: Well there's nothing we can do now, you should have called us when it was still critical!

Chuck Norris's e-mail adress is <a href="/cdn-cgi/l/email-protection" class="__cf_email__" data-cfemail="d188b0b9bebe9192b9a4b2ba9fbea3a3b8a2ffb2bebc">[email&#160;protected]</a>

Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house? A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.

One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. "Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After ... read more

If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.