I like my women how I like my laptop. Sat on my lap, turned on & completely virus free.
 400
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Chuck Norris's kill ratio on Call of Duty:Black Ops is infinity.
 518
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Chuck Norris finished Minecraft.
 438
0  

The stock market really plummeted today, but luckily there is a computer chip that is used to turn off the board if it gets too low. The Cubs have the same chip in there scoreboard.
 387
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Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse. He uses a lion.
 312
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