There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
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Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!
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The stock market really plummeted today, but luckily there is a computer chip that is used to turn off the board if it gets too low. The Cubs have the same chip in there scoreboard.
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Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever. Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the fin ... read more
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Chuck Norris sent a e-mail through the postal service.
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