There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

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Microsoft Office doesn't correct Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris correct Microsoft Office.

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I was in a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said, "I want you to try and sell this to me." So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building and went home. Eventually he called my mobile and said, "Bring it back here right now!" I said, "£100 and it's yours."

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The box said "Requires Windows Vista or better". So I installed LINUX.

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Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

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