A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
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My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.
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A drunk man comes inside a bar and says, "Happy New Year everybody." and the waiter says, "We are in June you drunk man."
And the drunk man says, "Oh my god my wife is going to kill me I have never been so late in my life!"
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Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
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If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!
