On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.

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My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.

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My new year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.

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If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!

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Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is going, let him go; Ring out the false, ring in the true.

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