How do you unload a truck of zombie babies? With a pitchfork.

The nurse told the parents of a newly born child, "You have a cute baby." The smiling husband said, "I bet you say that to all new parents." "No," she replied, "just to those whose babies really are good-looking." The husband again asked "So what do you say to the others?" The nurse replied, "The baby looks just like you."

Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village? Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!

Willy: "Mom, are our neighbors very poor people? Mother: "I don't think so, Willy. Why do you ask?" Willy: "Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin."

A small boy was awoken in the middle of the night by strange noises from his parents’ room, and he decided to investigate. As he entered their bedroom, he was shocked to see his mom and dad shagging for all they were worth. “DAD!” he shouted. “What are you doing?” “It’s ok,” his father replied. “Your mother wants a baby, that’s all.” The small boy, excited at the prospect of a new baby brother, was pleased and went back to bed with a smile on his face. Several weeks later, the little boy was walking past the bathroom and was shocked to discover his mother giving oral gratification to h ... read more