A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
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Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
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Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.
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This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh.
The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?"
So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
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If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!
