Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday.
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Q: What's the worst thing about being lonely? A: Playing Frisbee.
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Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
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I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.
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Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
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