When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.

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I don't always go to the gym, but when I do, I make sure Facebook knows about it.

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Doctor: "Yes, what is it I can do for you?" Blond: "Doctor, yesterday, when I was doing my yoga, one of my friends told me that if I did this particular exercise, all my body’s blood would go into my head. But, when I stand, why doesn’t anyone say that all the blood would go into the legs?" Doctor: "The fact’s your legs are not that hollow as your head is."

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I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."

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Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.

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