Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't.
 915
0  

Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
 436
0  

How do you know if an Asian robbed you? Your homework is done and cats gone.
 1171
1  

Q: What has two legs and bleeds? A: Half a cat.
 615
0  

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked: "What are you up to there, Nancy?" "My goldfish died", replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned: "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied: "That's because he's inside your fucking cat."
 988
0