A man was beaten up by robbers on the road. He lay on the side of the road, half dead. A humanist came along, saw him and passed by on the other side. A Samaritan came by and also crossed to the other side. Finally, a modern Christian came along, looked at the man and said: "Whoever did this to you needs help."

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At Andersen Air Force Base, Guam, a man in civilian clothes approached an airman and requested a vehicle pass. The young airman, fresh out of technical training, asked to see his military ID, driver's license and his vehicle registration. Noticing the letters BG on the man's identification, the new airman asked, "What's BG stand for - Big Guy?" "No," the man replied, leaning over the counter. "Try Brigadier General."

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Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear? A: "Thanks for the refill!"

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Yo mamma so stupid she locked herself out of her motercycle.

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A blonde is driving a helicopter and it crashes. When the police come and ask the blond what happened she says, "I got cold so I turned off the big fan!"

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